• December 20th - The notorious pirate Ribbon Jack was hanged. His list of crimes against the crown was so lengthy that the bailiff only read the highlights and concluded with “And sundry other offenses.” He is credited with capturing over forty merchant vessels during the course of his career, although historians suspect that the Red Lane Shipping Company may have been using him in order to dispose of vessels and claim the insurance money. Ribbon Jack was never allowed to make a public statement and was hanged while wearing a hood. Autopsies indicated that the notorious pirate may actually have been an eighty-five pound bag of seaweed. The Red Lane Shipping Company denied all of these rumors repeatedly, changed their company name several times in ensuring [sic] centuries, and is currently known as the Overcity Bank Trust.

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