| The Hidden Almanac for|
Wednesday September 18th, 2013
|Previous episode: 2013-09-16|
|Next episode: 2013-09-20|
Today we recount the Great Mime Uprising, and the history behind the Feast Day of St. Iridian. In the garden, the Harvest Moon is due, and we revisit the zucchini.
Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.
Welcome to the Hidden Almanac. I'm Reverend Mord. Today is September 18th, 2013.
Today is the 120th Anniversary of the Great Mime Uprising. In the quiet hours just before dawn, an armed group of mimes descended upon the city, trapping soldiers in invisible boxes and garroting innocent bystanders. Attempts to negotiate foundered when it became clear that the mimes could not express their demands. The Mime Uprising raged for se- three days but was finally put down in a brutal display of force. It claimed the lives of over a thousand people and an unknown number of mimes. Mimes have since been banned within city limits and rumors of an underground mime cult have never been substantiated.
It was on this day that the naturalist Eland the Younger first described the wood whale, a form of hover whale found only in old growth forests. These shy creatures have been reported for many years, but not yet described by science. Eland described the wood whale as "an enormous but oddly graceful beast" and estimated its length at nearly 40 feet. Wood whales were threatened by habitat loss and hunting in the early part of the century but were one of the first mammals placed on the protected species roster. Their population has since rebounded and is believed to be stable at some 40 thousand individuals.
Today is the Feast Day of Saint Iridian, patron of heavy metals, who is represented as an iron-grey peacock with a tail made of oil-slick iridescence. Iridian's aid is sought during clean-ups of pollution spills and is invoked to ward off environmental disasters. He is not to be confused with Saint Argus, who is also sometimes represented as a peacock but is the patron of watchmen. Nothing is known about the early life of Saint Iridian. Some hagiographers believe him to be a complete fabrication.
Tomorrow is the Harvest Moon, so-called because it is often bright enough to continue the harvest after dark. In the garden, the heat of summer is starting to wind down. If you are still trying to find uses for excess zucchini, consider chopping them into lengths, hollowing out the middles, and constructing a pipe organ. Skilled organists can coax music of breathtaking beauty from such an organ, and it will use up to 40 pounds of excess zucchini. The largest known zucchini pipe organ was 18 feet tall and lasted four months before succumbing to mold and fruit flies.
The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat — "We Dig Tea."
It is also sponsored by Steve's Used Cars, which is better than Bob's Discount Car Lot  and has a bigger selection of used vehicles. Now through Sunday, former fleet vehicles come with a 500 dollar rebate. Steve's Used Cars: we're better than Bob's.
That's the Hidden Almanac for September 18th, 2013. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.
Out of Character
The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.
- ↑ September 18, 1893
- ↑ He starts to say either six or seven. I think it sounds more like seven
- ↑ Reverend, you make me crazy when you don't give even an approximate year...
- ↑ Iridian means 'pertaining to the iris or window'
- ↑ Iridium is a heavy metal in the platinum group
- ↑ Argus was a Greek giant with a hundred eyes, and Hera's servant. One of Hera's symbols is a peacock, who is said to have Argus' eyes preserved in its tail. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argus_Panoptes
- ↑ Argus, of course, being Hera's watchman
- ↑ See the first episode
- ↑ This is most likely meant to be a reference to the first episode's sponsor, but that was called Bob's Used Car Lot