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Episode for 2013-10-30

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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday October 30th, 2013
Episode 21
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2013-10-28
Next episode: 2013-11-01

SummaryEdit

Today in Echo Harbor, something happened to the seagulls. Thaddius Macklewhite caught a chicken, and it is the birthday of Elaina Golden. It is the Feast Day of St. Rien, and in the garden, it is time for some more mulch.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I'm Reverend Mord. Today is October 30th, 2013.

Today is the birthday of the great mime-hunter Elaina Golden, credited with almost single-handedly reducing the mime population to non-threatening levels.

And it was on this day, in the Year of Scars, that every seagull in the coastal town of Echo Harbor suddenly went insane. Most of them simply rocked back and forth and moaned to themselves, but a few became violent and had to be dispatched by authorities. Several prominent citizens reported that the seagulls had been feeding on some peculiar thing that had washed up on shore some days earlier. No description of the thing could be found. Most of the seagulls made a full recovery, although many were prone to night terrors later in life and a number reported difficulty holding jobs.

And it was on this day in 1904 that Thaddeus Mackelwhite[1] caught a chicken while fly-fishing in a tributary of the Echo River. "It was the damnedest thing I ever saw," he said. "This chicken just swam up under the boat and rose on the fly. I was using a blue dun fly[2] and the chicken went for it."

He went on to add "Normally I practice catch-and-release, but that chicken wasn't interested in being released. It went for the same fly three times. I eventually gave it a beer and let it sit in the bottom of the boat."

Mr. Mackelwhite's catch was confirmed by the Echo Fisheries Association, as the third-largest chicken ever caught in the river. He received a small certificate and a beer.

It's the Feast Day of Saint Rien, patron of small non-working mechanical devices. He is represented as a penguin, crowned with the sun, holding a broken pocket-watch. Saint Rien was spared from martyrdom when the tyrant holding him overslept, owing to a malfunctioning water clock. The extra three hours of sleep put him in a good mood and he pardoned the criminals of the day, forgetting that Saint Rien was among their number. By the time he recalled his mistake, Saint Rien had taken a fast horse out of town. Saint Rien eventually led a large priory and died of extreme old age.

In the garden today, consider mulching your bulbs with a handful of gravel to discourage burrowing rodents. If this doesn't work (and it won't) mulch with caltrops. We at the Hidden Almanac Test Garden strongly advise against mulching with explosives. While very effective against rodents, few bulbs can survive direct exposure to dynamite.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat — "We Dig Tea."

Also sponsored by Steve's Used Cars. Steve's motto is: "Oh god, Bob, oh god, I'm sorry, the fire was a mistake, no one was supposed to get hurt, oh god, oh god, make it stop!" Ask about their low, low interest rates!

That's the Hidden Almanac for October 30th, 2013. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

NotesEdit

  1. misspelled in the summary. They may need to fire an intern
  2. The blue dun fly is an actual style of lure used in fly fishing; it is designed to mimic a young mayfly of the genus Paraleptophlebia, which includes species with the common names Blue Quill and Mahogany Dun

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