The Hidden Almanac for
Friday November 8th, 2013
Episode 25
Previous episode: 2013-11-06
Next episode: 2013-11-11


Today the third battle of the Spice Wars was fought. Naturalist Eland the Younger found a snake, and it is the Feast Day of Saint Baeddon. In the garden, we are building beds for spring.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord. Today is November 8th, 2013.

It was on today’s date in 1544 that the third major battle of the Spice Wars was fought. The Troyzantine forces, already stretched thin, were ambushed by Prince Sergei III’s forces at the field of Lantern Run. Historians place the failure of intelligence on the fact that the pigeons used to carry messages from the front were eaten by a Great Gray Owl.

Troyzantine took heavy casualties and retreated in disarray. Only an unseasonably early snowfall kept them from suffering a permanent defeat.

And it was on this day that the naturalist Eland the Younger described the Whiskered Cobra, a sightless venomous serpent found in shallow caves. Whiskered Cobras have long vibrissae, which they use to feel their way around the floor of bat caves, seeking fallen bats and insects which feed upon bat guano. Whiskered Cobras can reach up to five feet in length and their venom causes ulceration in humans.

Today is the birthday of the Stone Guardsman.

It’s the Feast Day of Saint Baeddon, patron of sailors. Saint Baeddon sailed across the ocean to the Coriander Isles in a skin boat, drinking only rainwater and eating seaweed. When he arrived, he was half-mad with sunstroke and the locals believed that he was either a saint or a lunatic. As their culture did not differentiate between the two, he was treated well and lived several years on the Isles before being eaten by an elephant seal.

In the garden today, if you’ve got a pile of old tree limbs lying around and find that they’re not breaking down as quickly as you’d like, consider using them as the basis for a garden bed. This method of gardening, known as hill-culture, involves piles of brush and tree-limbs, which is then covered over in soil and sod. The slowly decaying wood feeds the soil and keeps it well aerated. It is supposed to be particularly good for cantaloupe and squash.

In the Hidden Almanac Test Garden, we have found hill-culture to be quite effective, but extremely ugly, producing high yields but rather lumpy beds. We therefore recommend that you build such structures in the back of the garden, possibly near the compost heap, and when visitors look toward it, hit them in the back of the head with a board.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat — "We Dig Tea."

Also sponsored by the Echo Harbor Tourism Board. Sun... sand... salt air... quaint antique shops and delicious cuisine. Prominent citizens agree, Echo Harbor is an unforgettable vacation experience! Come and see what all the shouting is about![1]

That’s the Hidden Almanac for November 8th, 2013. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.


  1. One wonders if their advisors are the same that work for the Innsmouth Tourism Board...