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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday November 13th, 2013
Episode 27
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2013-11-11
Next episode: 2013-11-15

SummaryEdit

Today marks the passing of the third[1] Hateful Decree. It is also the Feast Day of Saint Bartholemew Argus. There is also a rock. In the garden, we explore horse tails.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord. Today is November 13th, 2013.

It was on this day in 1781 that the next of the "Hateful Decrees" was issued by the Librarian Prince. This one attempted to ban snow. Possession of, consorting with, or failure to report the presence of snow was punishable by imprisonment. As snow begins to fall on the northern part of the highlands by the end of October, there was some suspicion that this was an excuse to declare martial law in the area. The highlands, though nominally under the crown’s control, had long proved difficult to administer.

A record fourteen inches of snow fell in the city not long after the anti-snow decree however, so troops were occupied dealing with this “domestic weather terrorism.” In late spring, the Librarian Prince issued a statement saying that the long national nightmare was over,[2] and the decree was quietly removed from the books before the following winter.

Today is the eleven-millionth anniversary of a medium-sized gray rock in the Hidden Almanac Test Garden. It did not want anyone to make a fuss.

And it was on this day that Saint Bartholemew Argus led the snakes out of the Coriander Isles. When they reached the beach, they were loaded into boats and taken to the nearby Isle of Nork, where they spent a pleasant year frolicking in the sun and being catered to by local staff. On this day, the following year, Saint Bartholemew led them back onto boats and back home again.[3]

Today is his Feast Day. He is portrayed as a man surrounded by haloed serpents, holding a drink with a small cocktail umbrella.

In the garden this week, we’re taking a close look at horsetails. These ancient reed-like plants have been around, basically unchanged, for millions of years. They are extraordinarily easy to grow, thriving wherever there is a molecule of soil and adequate moisture. Because they contain high amounts of silica, deer avoid them.

Horsetails form a strong structural element in the garden in the first year, and an unbreachable palisade the second year. If you put these in the ground, you will never see your garden again. We suggest that you plant them in a small pot, preferably at the home of someone you don’t like.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat — "We Dig Tea."

Also brought to you by the Saint Bart’s Snake Resort on Nork! Bring your snake in for a massage, a meal, or our full Ophidian Pampering Package! Make your reservation today!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for November 13th, 2013. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

NotesEdit

  1. Actually the fourth
  2. "our long national nightmare is over" is a famous line from a speech Gerald Ford gave after being sworn in as President of the United States, following the downfall of Richard Nixon
  3. Compare the legend of Saint Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland

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