The Hidden Almanac for
Friday November 15th, 2013
Episode 28
Previous episode: 2013-11-13
Next episode: 2013-11-18


Today is the birthday of Thomas Lord, who revolutionized milk delivery. It is also the day the Black Beast was first sighted, as well as the start of Sir Hamforth’s travels. It is the Feast Day of St. Millefiori, and in the garden, the birds are thirsty.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord. Today is November 15th, 2013.

Today is the birthday of Thomas Lord, who standardized milk delivery in the city. Prior to Lord’s Union, milk delivery was in the hands of various dairy cartels. Depending on what neighborhood one was in, milk delivery could range from erratic to mandatory. Lord’s Union of Bonded Milkmen took the uncertainty and occasional terror out of milk delivery.

While there was some effort by cartels to resist the Bonded Milkmen, the fact that the deliverymen were heavily armed and extremely polite tipped the scales in their favor. While home milk deliveries have largely ceased, the Bonded Milkmen continue to provide daily delivery to businesses.

It was on this day in 1804 that the Black Beast was seen on the rooftops of the city. Initial reports were limited to the Western Quarter, and described the Black Beast as human sized, with wings and glowing yellow eyes. Journalists initially dismissed these sightings as the superstitious spotting an owl. One eyewitness, however, came forward to say, “I’ve seen owls and this was no goddamn owl.”

And it was on this day, in 1693, that Sir Augustus Hamforth set out on an ambitious expedition to sail beyond the Coriander Isles. He claimed that God had given him a vision of another continent out there and aimed to claim it in the name of King and Country.

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Millefiori, patron of bead-makers. She is usually represented as a sloth wearing dozens of beaded bracelets. Icons of Saint Millefiori are common as necklace charms, and are believed to prevent the loss of small valuables. There is a particularly fine painting of this saint on the ceiling of the Jeweler’s Guildhall in the Glass Quarter of the city.[1]

In the garden, it is starting to get quite cold out. While most birds have no problem finding food in winter, finding fresh water can be far more difficult. More birds die of hypothermia and dehydration than starvation.

Break the ice on ponds and refill birdbaths with warm water. A variety of electric bird bath heaters are available on the market. In the Hidden Almanac Test Garden, most brands performed pretty much the same, with the exception of the Friendly Feathers Water-Warmer, which electrocuted two robins and one intern. We cannot recommend the Water-Warmer as a birdbath accessory, but believe it may have an future in home defense.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat — "We Dig Tea."

Also brought to you by Guy’s Ammo Belt Suspenders. Each suspender holds up to twenty rounds. Available in multiple sizes. Guy’s — “Don’t get caught with your pants down!”

That’s the Hidden Almanac for November 15th, 2013. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.


  1. Millefiori is a glasswork technique involving glass mosaic beads