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Episode for 2013-11-25

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The Hidden Almanac for
Monday November 25th, 2013
Episode 32
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2013-11-22
Next episode: 2013-11-27

SummaryEdit

Today marks another spotting of the Black Beast. It is also the day the last of the Watch Tubers was harvested. It is the Feast Day of of St. Almathea, and in the garden, camellias are blooming.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord. Today is November 25th, 2013.

It was on this day in 1804 that the Black Beast was spotted yet again, this time in the back garden of one Mrs. L. Mumphrey. Mrs. Mumphrey was a noted eccentric and would not have been considered a reliable witness, had she not been hosting the annual Policeman’s Ball at her townhouse at the time. The assembled officers witnessed a large, dark figure climbing down the rain gutter. Descriptions of the Beast varied, with some saying that it climbed like an ape, while others said it ran more like a large cat. All agreed that it was either wearing a cape or had some kind of wings.

One of the officers discharged his firearm in its direction, but missed. The Beast vanished over the garden wall and was seen scaling a distant rooftop and escaping into the city.

And it was on this day in 1921 that the last of the great Watch Tubers[1] was harvested from the house-tuber fields. Watch Tubers require specialized growing conditions, as the long tap-roots must be excavated whole. The resulting watch towers are light, airy, and exceptionally sturdy. Unfortunately, the art of growing Watch Tubers has largely passed, although the last tuber farmers left extensive notes, “just in case.”

The final Watch Tuber was later installed as a fire tower on the slope of Crowdown Fell, where it stands to this day.

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Almathea, patron of skunk cabbage. When Almathea was young, she was pursued by bandits and hid among the skunk cabbages, begging the plants to cover her tracks. The plants grew eight feet tall and produced a foul odor, repelling the bandits, and Almathea blessed them. The Abbey of Saint Almathea is surrounded by skunk cabbage, the oldest of which has rhizomes believed to be nearly a thousand years old.

In the garden this week, the first camellias are starting to bloom. These cold-weather flowers bring a moment on interest into gardens covered in dead leaves. Some popular cultivars include “Yuletide”, “Winter Glory”, and “Murderous Deathbloom,” although that last has fallen out of favor in recent years.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat — "We Dig Tea."

Also brought to you by Snappy Brand Potato Logs! All the flavor you love, in log form!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for November 25th, 2013. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

NotesEdit

  1. Watch Tubers talked about in this entry of Gearworld: http://gearworld.livejournal.com/7520.html

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