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The Hidden Almanac for
Friday November 29th, 2013
Episode 34
The Hidden Almanac
Previous episode: 2013-11-27
Next episode: 2013-12-02

Summary[]

Today is the birthday of Eloisa Mahoney. It also marks the appearance of the man in Echo Harbor, and tonight is bridge club night. It is the the Feast Day of St. Essentia, and in the garden, the ticks remain.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

Transcription[]

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord. Today is November 29th, 2013.

Today is the birthday of Eloisa Mahoney, who founded the Mahoney Glass Company. They created brilliant murals, mosaics, stained glass windows and lampshades. Mahoney’s genius was recognized in 1895, when she was commissioned to create a rose window for the Cathedral of the Madonna of Leaves. It was twenty-six feet tall and contained over seven thousand individual pieces.

It also caused headaches and eyestrain if viewed for more than ten minutes at a stretch, and so curtains were installed within the cathedral and the window was only revealed during times of special celebration. Mahoney, both embittered and emboldened by her success, went on to create several dozen windows, including that of the Royal Revenue Service, which causes seizures in small children.

It was on this day in the Year of the Driven Stain that a man appeared in Echo Harbor. Several prominent citizens reported that he didn’t do anything, exactly, but there was something deeply weird about him nonetheless. He asked several unusual questions — “Does everyone here have bones?” and “The chairs, are they attached?” — then cried “The name of the game is objects that float!” and ran off toward the sea.

“We are used to madmen, of course,” said one citizen, “I mean, look where we live! But this guy…yeah, I dunno. I’ll be locking the doors tonight.”

And today is the twelfth anniversary of the Hedgehogs' Ladies' Bridge Club, which goes on in a hollow log at the end of the garden. It is by invitation only and there is much drinking of cordial out of thimbles. At night, you can hear the sounds of squeaky laughter and see lights about six inches off the ground.

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Essentia, about which almost nothing is known. She is portrayed as a headless woman with a squirrel levitating over her shoulders. Hagiographers think there is probably a great story there, if only someone in the 13th century had written it down.

In the garden this week, we are still waiting on a hard freeze to kill the deer ticks.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat — "We Dig Tea."

Afflicted with leftover turkey? Check out Annie O’Riley’s “1001 Uses For Leftover Turkey” which includes handy tips for making soup stock, gizzard jewelry, and bronzing turkey legs to beat your enemies to death. Sure to be the next bestseller from Cryptic Cooking Books!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for November 29th, 2013. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

Outro[]

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

Notes[]

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