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Episode for 2013-12-18

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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday December 18th, 2013
Episode 42
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2013-12-16
Next episode: 2013-12-20

SummaryEdit

Today Sir Augustus Hamforth sailed into the dark. We also remember a border collie, and remember a disagreement of linguists. It is the Feast Day of Calico Cats, and in the garden, the moon is out.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord. Today is December 18th, 2013.

It was on this day in 1693 that Sir Augustus Hamforth sailed into a land of darkness and cold. Ice formed on the rigging and lanterns were hung from the bow to light the way. After some consultation with the ship’s charts, Sir Hamforth realized that they had sailed into the sun’s shadow. “Well,” he is recorded as saying, “I suppose it had to be somewhere.” This was duly noted in the ship’s charts and the sailors were given an extra ration of grog to prevent a mutiny.

And it was on this day in 1955 that a heroic border collie woke his family as the house was burning down and herded them all directly into the blaze. It was later determined that the collie had started the fire. Further investigation, however, revealed that the family had been members of the Secret Mime Cult and the collie was lauded as a hero of the state. He was given a medal by the Prime Minister and Her Royal Highness declared that the dog was “a very Good Boy.”

And it was on this day in 1902 that the Ancient Order of Linguists sent two champions forth on the field of battle to determine, once and for all, whether it was pronounced “peKHAN” or “peCAN.”[1] The champion of peKHAN selected her weapon as sword and shield, while peCAN paladin requested net and trident. The two fought for nearly an hour. PeCAN eventually slew peKHAN, only to succumb a moment later, as peKHAN had taken the precaution of poisoning her weapon. The Ancient Order of Linguists declared the matter unresolved.[2]

Today is the Feast Day of Calico Cats. Calicos, tortoiseshells, and other tri-colored cats are considered avatars of the divine today. Feeding them canned food is said to bring good luck.

In the garden, it is the second night of the Moon of Cold. Be careful when walking after dark in the moonlight. There are ice-wolves in the garden tonight.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat — "We Dig Tea."

Also brought to you by the Ancient Order of Linguists! Are you an English major? Skilled in hand-to-hand combat? Do you feel strongly about whether something is “soda” or “pop”? Contact AOOL today!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for December 18th, 2013. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

NotesEdit

  1. Spellings according to the script. IPA: pɪˈkɑn vs pɪˈkæn
  2. Worse yet, there are two other possible pronounciations: http://farmflavor.com/how-do-you-say-pecan-mapping-food-dialect-trends-across-the-u-s/

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