The Hidden Almanac for
Friday January 10th, 2014
Episode 52
Previous episode: 2014-01-08
Next episode: 2014-01-13


Today there were white jays on the Royal Cathedral. It is also the day Eland the Younger described a fungus, and the doomed Biscuit. It is the Feast Day of St. Masonia, and in the garden, we are contemplative.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord

Today is January 10th, 2014.

It was on this day in 2003 that a flock of white jays descended on the Royal Cathedral. They remained there for several days, calling obscenities and prophecies to passers-by, then left as quickly as they had appeared.

And it was on this day that Eland the Younger first described the mushrooms known as the “Fly-sock Mushroom.” This large, insectivorous mushroom operates in much the same manner as a pitcher plant, with a deep depression in the cap full of viscous slime. Insects falling inside appear to be digested, although scientists have worked out no mechanism by which the Fly-Sock would pass the nutrients on to the roots and have concluded that the mushroom may simply be a sadist.

Today is the 75th anniversary of the introduction of the “Biscuit” automobile, a luxury vehicle that seated six, with gas mileage that was considered appalling even for the era. Only the very rich could afford a Biscuit. It was available in multiple colors, including a mural specially designed by Anthony Ersatz of the Modern Peculiar art movement. Unfortunately the paint proved to be water soluble and the Biscuit was eventually recalled for melting in the rain, much to the amusement of headline writers everywhere.

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Masonia, patron of particleboard. This particular saint was martyred many centuries ago, by the unpleasant form of execution known as “pressing.” The link to particleboard would seem both tenuous and in poor taste, but wood production companies embraced it, and St. Masonia is now often seen on letterhead and packaging for wood product companies the country over.

In the garden today, let’s all take a moment to consider that it’s the tenth, which means we are not only in 2014, we are double digits into 2014, a thought that should fill even the most hardened listener with existential dread.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also sponsored by the Echo Harbor School District Number 10, announcing their annual bake sale. Come by and get a plate of squid crunchies! It’s for the children. And you know what happens if we don’t appease the children.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 10th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

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