The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday January 15th, 2014
Episode 54
Previous episode: 2014-01-13
Next episode: 2014-01-17


Today the Council of Sixteen delivered their declaration of war. It also also the birthday of the artist Carlos Ermine, and we remember a Hateful Decree. It is the Feast Day of the Trout God, and in the garden, there are weeds.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is January 15th, 2014.

It was on this day that the Council of Sixteen, a group of mice engaged in warfare against the squirrels inhabiting the garden and attic of their two-story brownstone, delivered their official declaration of war to the squirrels. The chosen emissary, a young mouse named Three-Seeds, crossed the yard under banner of truce and recited the declaration aloud. The squirrels jeered at him and threw bits of bark. Three-Seeds took cover in a drainage pipe until the squirrels were distracted and returned to the Council unharmed.

Today is the birthday of the artist Carlos Ermine, who painted one truly magnificent painting, threw his paints away, and went into chartered accounting. The single Ermine painting, titled “Girl With A Pink Hat,” hangs in the Royal Museum, where groups of artists regularly gather to mutter and drink heavily.

And it was on this day in 1782 that the first Hateful Decree of the new year was issued, which banned skulls. This was extremely difficult to work with, and many butchers shut down immediately until the situation was resolved. Finally a particularly clever minister went to the Librarian Prince and suggested that he act as an example to his people by removing his own skull, whereupon the decree was rescinded and the clever minister was sentenced to ten years hard labor.

Today is the Feast Day of the Trout God, He-Who-Must-Be-Offered-Flies. Appease the Trout God. The alternative does not bear contemplating.

In the garden this week, we are beginning to see cold-season weeds gaining ground. Some common cold-season weeds include chickweed, wild onion, pepperweed and Lawrence’s wild lettuce. You can pull them, if you’re looking for something to do, but in many cases, this will prove to be an exercise in futility.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Edible Insect Emporium! Come by our tasting room on High Street and try chocolate covered ants, butterscotch grubs, and the world-famous Cicada-tini!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 15th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

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