The Hidden Almanac for
Monday January 20th, 2014
Episode 56
Previous episode: 2014-01-17
Next episode: 2014-01-22


Today the druid Torix Herne escaped. It is also the day of the Ribbon Riots in Troyzantium. It is the Feast Day of St. John of Oxengate, and in the garden, there are snow orchids.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord

Today is January 20th, 2014.

It was on this day in the year 980 that the druid Torix Herne escaped from his prison in the city, with the aid of a tiger he had befriended some years earlier while working as a traveling circus druid. A city-wide man-hunt was initiated, to no avail. General Septus, who had recently been named emperor for his defeat of Herne’s people, suffered a great deal of embarrassment and was quietly knifed in his privy chamber some weeks later.

Torix Herne and his tiger returned to the People of the West (located to the east of the city.) His people were allowed to remain a sovereign nation within the empire by General Septus’s successor, who had learned that ancient lesson, “Don’t screw with a man with a tiger.”

And it was on this day in 1854 that the Ribbon Riots occurred in Troyzantium. The cause was never adequately determined, but historians speculate that a sharp rise in the price of hair ribbons may have given the riots their name. Why the citizens of Troyzantium, laboring under crushing national debt and recovering from one of the worst typhoid outbreaks in recent memory, would riot over the price of hair ribbons has also never been adequately determined.

Today is the Feast Day of St. John of Oxengate, patron of hat racks. St. John was the abbot of the Oxengate monastery and fell into the hands of the barbarian chieftan Ethel Khan. His death was so gruesome as to defy the descriptive powers of many hagiographers, and so the details are usually omitted from his biography, including such questions as “where exactly did she put the hat rack?” St. John is represented as an old man carrying a book. He is not wearing a hat.

In the garden this week, the snow orchids are blooming. Earliest of the spring ephemerals, these rare orchids can often be seen pushing their way through sheets of glaze ice. While they are available from several reputable dealers, gardeners should be aware that a snow orchid will only bloom in the depression left by a yeti’s footprint. Tame garden yetis can be rented from nursery centers, but there is usually a waiting list.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Echo Harbor Clockmakers. We know when it will happen. Do you?

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 20th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

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