The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday January 22nd, 2014
Episode 57
Previous episode: 2014-01-20
Next episode: 2014-01-24


Today is the birthday of the sculptor Charlie Abnett. It is also marks the strange dreams in Echo Harbor, and the death of Argo Fairweather. It is the Feast Day of St. Maundus, and in the garden, there are moths.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is January 22nd, 2014.

It is the birthday of Charlie Abnett, a sculptor of the Modern Peculiar art movement. In 1929, he showed his sculpture “Ode to Nonexistence,” at the Gallery d’Authentique. Various parties pointed out that it was an empty pedestal, and he was charging forty thousand dollars for it. One critic raved about this as a commentary on the very nature of art itself, but the rest of the critics told that one to get his head examined. Abnett was denounced as a mere stunt-artist and the show closed three weeks later, with “Ode to Nonexistence” and its companion piece, “Reflections on the Void,” still unsold.

And it was on this day, in the Year of Veins, that the people of Echo Harbor were troubled by dreams of a black elk with antlers of blue lightning. Peculiar hoofprints were found in the snow outside the homes of the afflicted. The dreams proceeded intermittently for nearly a week, then stopped. No one died or was even particularly traumatized by this, which several prominent citizens described as “unusually benign,” and “weak sauce.”

And it was on this day in 1501 that the scientist Argo Fairweather passed away. His final monograph, “On the Species And Habits of Moon-Rabbits” was finished and published by his daughter. The home where he was kept under house arrest by the Lobster Pope for many years has been turned into a museum. It is open between the hours of noon and four, or by appointment.

It is the Feast Day of St. Maundus the Timekeeper. The story goes that Maundus’s abbey was raided by barbarians, and his brothers thrown in a pit with wild beasts. Maundus convinced the barbarian chief to release the brothers if any survived more than an hour. The chief agreed, and then had Maundus thrown into the pit, armed only with an hourglass.

Exactly one hour later, Maundus emerged from the pit, having beaten several beasts into submission with the hourglass. Much impressed, the barbarian allowed the surviving monks to go unharmed. Hagiographers suggest that timepieces were apparently just built to last back then.

In the garden this week, the Fall Cloverworm Moth is laying eggs. Males are iridescent silver, while females of this species are small and wingless. Both sexes are attracted to lights and warm drafts. You may find them lurking around door and windowframes. They are a minor agricultural pest, and also one of the few moths still active during relatively cold weather. You could squish them if you wanted. The world will not be particularly affected either way.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Rent-A-Yeti! Need a garden yeti? Rent-A-Yeti has all kinds, from abominable to quite pleasant. This month’s special is Skunk Apes, perfect for tilling those hard to reach spots and tearing up any old fencing you may not want any more. Call now, and receive 20% off!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 22nd, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

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