The Hidden Almanac for
Monday February 10th, 2014
Episode 65
Previous episode: 2014-02-07
Next episode: 2014-02-12


Today we commemorate Elizabeth Green, and her organization skills. We also mark the first description of the Isolationist Penguin. It is the Feast Day of Saint Envious, and in the garden, there are still interns.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 10th, 2014.

It was on this day in 1988 that a frustrated scrapbooker named Elizabeth Green created an organization system that actually worked. It hinged on a series of binders and a simple, yet ingenious configuration of clear plastic storage devices, and could be applied to anything from papers to military hardware. The entire process was so revolutionary and so elegant that office supply companies, seeing their bottom line threatened, immediately had Mrs. Green assassinated. The Green System is now lost, although rumors persist that it is currently in use within the armed forces.

Today is the birthday of the Elegant Serpent.

And it was on this day that the naturalist Eland the Younger identified the Isolationist Penguin. Even at the time, this species was nearing extinction, as it prefers its own company, even during the breeding season. Isolationist Penguins today are found only in zoos, where they reproduce via artificial insemination and the eggs are hatched by surrogates.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Envious, who, cursed with a rather unfortunate name, went to extraordinary lengths to live it down. He founded an abbey, then stepped down into order to devote his life to working among the poor. His exemplary life led to a fad in children named for vices that their parents hoped they would rebel against, including “Vanity” “Wrath” and “Filial Impiety.”

In the garden, the interns have fought off a marauding bear with garden trowels. We at the Hidden Almanac Test Garden commend their prowess, though we wish that they had not trampled the asparagus bed during combat.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Kale Council. Kale. It’s a thing that happens.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 10th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

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