The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday February 12th, 2014
Episode 66
Previous episode: 2014-02-10
Next episode: 2014-02-14


Today, the Great Lupercalia Drought officially began. It is also the day Prince Sergi III moved, and it is the birthday of Sparky. It is the Feast Day of the Bone Madonna, and in the garden, some interns have returned.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 12th, 2014.

It was on this day in 1995 that the Great Lupercalia Drought struck the mountains to the east of the city. A warm winter had prevented the snow pack from building up in the mountains, reducing water levels to historic lows.

While the drought had obviously been in effect for quite some time, it was only officially declared on this day. The Lord of the Mountain declared that his kingdom would cease to exist if something was not done.

And it was on this day in 1545 that Prince Sergei III moved his troops out of their winter quarters and made a surprise attack upon the Trozantine forces. This came to be known as the Midnight Attack, and it touched off the second act in the Spice Wars.

And today is the birthday of Sparky the Friendly Snake, a long-time attraction at the Royal Zoo. Sparky lived in the reptile house for over sixty years, posing with school groups and giving out occasionally lethal hugs. During an interview, one of Sparky’s handlers said “It’s just a snake. I don’t know how marketing did it. Have you seen all these little stuffed toys? I want to hug them, and I shovel that snake’s crap out of the cage once a week.” When asked about the occasional fatality, the handler refused to comment, saying only “I told you, it’s a snake.”

Today is the Feast Day of the Bone Madonna. It is not celebrated by nice people and official discussion is discouraged.

In the garden this week, two of the interns have made it out safely! They have been given the Silver Trowel for extreme bravery in gardening, and we hope for the return of our other snowbound interns from the back garden soon.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Eddy’s Incubators, the first name in Isolationist Penguin Incubators. From egg to hostile, suspicious adult, the only brand you want is Eddy’s!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 12th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

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