The Hidden Almanac for
Friday February 14th, 2014
Episode 67
Previous episode: 2014-02-12
Next episode: 2014-02-17


Today we recall a dancing fad that was more than a fad. We also remember the walking whale, and remind you of the Snow Moon. It is the Feast Day of St. Lupus, and in the garden, there is sovereignty.

Be Safe, And Stay out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 14th, 2014.

It was on this day in 1484 that the Hysterical Dancing Epidemic hit the town of Vlogstok. It had been going on for some weeks, as sufferers tangoed exhaustedly between villages, but Vlogstok was the largest town to be affected. The guard was called out and many dancers were dragged away in chains, for which they expressed gratitude. When the guard itself began to be infected with the urge to boogie, they turned their cudgels on themselves. It would ultimately take nearly five days before the dancing stopped. The exact cause was never determined.[1]

And it was on this day, approximately 48 million years ago, that the ancient mammal known as the “walking whale” swam in the salty seas and thought “I think I’m done with all that land drama. Life is too short.” The results of this moment of soul-searching would be far-reaching indeed.

Today is the Snow Moon, the first full moon of February. It is also known as the Famine Moon. Deer eat each other today. If you are a deer, this would be a good day to stay home.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Lupus, patron of love and lycanthropy. Lovers will exchange chocolates in the shape of wolf brains and small vials of deer blood with festive ribbons.[2]

In the garden, we are informed that the surviving interns have formed their own nation near the back gate and are declaring it sovereign territory, a situation that will clearly have to be resolved before spring.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Glazy-Daze De-Icer! You’ve got ice? We’ve got solutions! Pour a bucket of Glazy-Daze on it, and watch that ice turn to harmless steam! Do not inhale, touch, or gaze directly into Glazy-Daze De-Icer. In the event that you ingest the de-icer, call Poison Control immediately and request that they pray for your family.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 14th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

  1. Dancing mania
  2. Before Valentine's Day was the big thing, this time of year was best known for the festival of Lupercalia.

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