The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday February 19th, 2014
Episode 69
Previous episode: 2014-02-17
Next episode: 2014-02-21


Today we remember the author Marcia Gutierrez. It is also the day the Shepherd Pope embarked on his public works project. It is the Feast Day of the East Wind, and in the garden, the interns are building.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble,


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 19th, 2014.

Today is the birthday of the science-fiction author Marcia Gutierrez, who’s books predicted the transistor, the X-ray, nuclear houseboats, and the macrobiotic diet. Her most famous novel, “Tearing Apart The Stars” sold over a million copies and was the foundation for two movies and three doomsday cults. The author was quoted as saying “I did not get paid enough for them to misinterpret my work like this.” She had no comment to make about the cults.

It was on this day in 1483 that the Shepherd Pope ordered the sewers of the sacred city drained and re-worked, a public works project that would consume much of his time in office. Though extraordinarily costly, the sewers were nearing capacity and in danger of overflowing into the water supply. It is believed by historians that if he had not taken such measures, the city would have become unlivable within the century.

And it was on this day some thousands of years ago that the crickets unionized and went on strike. Scabs were brought in, but there were complaints of substandard blinking, and so management was forced to yield to their demands.

It is the Feast Day of the East Wind. Watch for white bears who wish to marry your daughters.[1] If you do not have daughters, watch for white bears who wish to devour your face.

In the garden, snowmelt continues and the waters rise. There are signs of boatbuilding among the interns, who appear to be dismantling the potting shed. The cost would be deducted from their salaries, if we actually paid them.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Mantis Lounge, the coolest nightclub anywhere. Every Saturday night, the most delectable male among the dancers will be selected for special attentions by the staff. This is completely painless. You will be the envy of your friends. Please wear an open-collared shirt.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 19th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

  1. For more on this topic, consult the fairy tale "East of the Sun and West of the Moon"

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