The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday March 19th, 2014
Episode 81
Previous episode: 2014-03-17
Next episode: 2014-03-21


Today is the day the library was robbed. It is also the anniversary of the debut of “The Juniper Man,” and of a confluence of crows. It is the Feast Day of St. Petroushka, and in the garden, there is ice.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is March 19th, 2014.

It was on this day in 1976 that a masked man held up the Royal Library, demanding, at gunpoint, several rare tomes. He took only first-edition children’s books and then escaped through a window. Some months later, the books turned up, piled neatly outside the anteater cage at the Royal Zoo, with a short note saying “All words are termites gnawing at the wood pulp pages.” No arrests were ever made, and the identity of the masked gunmen was never determined.

And it was on this day in 1955 that the musical “The Juniper Man” was first performed on stage. This extraordinary production smashed all records for a musical and remained in continuous production for seventeen years. The songs “A Girl Like A Headache” and “That Thing You Do--No, That Other Thing” rocketed to the top of the charts. “The Juniper Man” has been revived twice, although later productions did not feature a live tiger, but an actor dressed as one, owing to safety concerns.

And it was one year ago today that several crows landed behind the Hidden Almanac Recording Studio and held what appeared to be a very serious conversation for several minutes. They looked around repeatedly, as if afraid of being overheard, then nodded to one another and flew away. If you have any information as to what they were planning, we’re still a little curious here at the studio.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Petroushka, patron of jesters. This particular saint appears to derive from the Eastern Orthodox tradition and has questionable theological roots. St. Petroushka is usually portrayed in red, carrying a sausage, with which he smites his enemies.

In the garden, we are cleaning up after an unexpected ice storm. If you are also cleaning up after one, be advised that some trees will bounce back, but others will be permanently bent double. Cedars are particularly vulnerable to bending, and can become permanently “weeping” as a result. If you have not suffered an ice storm, do whatever seems best.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Sacred Order of Bull Moose Men. Do you have any salt? We’ve run short. Donations can be dropped off at the SOBMM headquarters on High Street. We require about eight hundred pounds of the stuff immediately, for reasons that are not the business of anyone below the level of Elk Boss.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for March 19th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.