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The Hidden Almanac for
Friday April 4th, 2014
Episode 88
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2014-04-02
Next episode: 2014-04-07

SummaryEdit

Today Alistair Whetsmith invented something. It is also the day the manholes disappeared, and the anniversary of the fire at Ravencoast School of Divinity. It is the Feast Day of Gray Devils, and in the garden, there are seedlings.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble,

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is April 4th, 2014.

It was on this day in 1975 that Alistair Whetsmith invented the insect cannon. This low-velocity shoulder mounted cannon fires quantities of carrion-eating beetles, suitable for repelling zombies. When critics pointed out that the beetles would likely suffer from high-speed impact, Alistair fitted them with tiny crash helmets, kitted out with corporate logos. Its effectiveness in the case of zombie apocalypse is unknown.

And it was on this day in the Year of Ink that every manhole cover in the town of Echo Harbor went missing. The open shafts appeared to overlook an unknown desert, where it was broad daylight. Sandstorms raged for several weeks, coating the streets with sand, and then the manhole covers reappeared as suddenly as they had gone.

It is the twentieth anniversary of an unexplained fire at the Ravencoast School of Divinity. The fire began in one of the student dorms. Bucket brigades were formed by the Plague Doctors, while other members of the seminary suggested praying for rain. They had worked out a non-denominational, suitably respectful prayer by the time that the fire department arrived, and the school was saved from further damage. The cause was determined to be a malfunctioning hot plate.

It is the Feast Day of Gray Devils. Those in the lower quarters of the city are advised to leave their offerings covered with cheesecloth to repel flies.

In the garden, it is time to plant out seedlings if weather permits. Harden them off for several days by placing them in a sheltered porch or other area where they receive only filtered sun. Otherwise the leaves will burn and your hard work nursing along the sprouts in spite of cats, fungus, and low germination rates will be for naught.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by stinkbugs. We’re here. Check your coat pockets.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for April 4th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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