The Hidden Almanac for
Monday April 7th, 2014
Episode 89
Previous episode: 2014-04-04
Next episode: 2014-04-09


It is the anniversary of the opening of the Royal Museum’s Saurian Wing. It is the birthday of the broadcaster Carl Viking, and the day the waltz was introduced. It is the Feast Day of St. Gilliam, and in the garden, there is bloodroot.

Be Safe, And Stay Out of Trouble,


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is April 7th, 2014.

It is the anniversary of the opening of the Royal Museum’s Saurian Wing, which included thousands of articulated dinosaur skeletons. There was an unfortunate incident early on when the velociraptor exhibit came to life, but as velociraptors are about the size of a large turkey, they were rapidly kicked apart by security guards and the skeletons were reassembled at a site that had not previously housed the Necromancer’s Local 501. Over half a million visitors come to the Saurian Wing annually.

And it is the birthday of the broadcaster Carl Viking, one of the great radio personalities of the last century. Viking began broadcasting at a local radio station where his grave, soothing voice became associated with serious, reliable newscasting. His reporting on the Battle of Tyson’s Crossing and the quarantine of Echo Harbor cemented his career, and he became the go-to person for breaking bad news in a sensitive way. It was only after his death in 2003 that it was revealed that Carl had actually been a water buffalo. “We wondered about the large amounts of silage in the break room,” said his producer, “but he was just such a damn fine broadcaster.”

It was on this day in 1804 that the waltz was introduced to the city. Considered a shocking and transgressively modern dance, as it involved men and women’s bodies to be in actual physical contact, the waltz was banned outright in many towns. As with many things, however, it eventually crept into the common repertoire of dancing, and eventually became seen as perfectly respectable, and now, some centuries later, as quite old-fashioned. Waltz-related deaths have been on the decline for a number of years and are no longer considered statistically significant.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Gilliam, patron of balloons. St. Gilliam’s martyrdom involved a bicycle pump and is far too grisly to go into here. Representations are banned by many decency laws and most of the standards of good taste.

In the garden, bloodroot has flowered. Bloodroot is a spring ephemeral wildflower which entices bees with its attractive scent but which is completely without pollen. The bee’s labor is thus wasted, although presumably the bloodroot finds it amusing. Some plants, like some people, are just like that.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and extradimensional teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Silent Nightclub. Still here. Still rocking. Still not a front for the underground mime cult. Visit us today!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for April 7th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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