The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday April 9th, 2014
Episode 90
Previous episode: 2014-04-07
Next episode: 2014-04-11


It is the birthday of Lord Stephen. It is also the day of the arrests at the Walleye Copper Mine Strike, and marks the return of a plesiosaur. It is the Feast Day of St. Fabriano, and in the garden, there are thieves.

Be Safe, And Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is April 9th, 2014.

It is the birthday of Lord Stephen the Collator, one of the most famed members of the Ancient Order of Linguists. Lord Stephen slew many enemies of punctuation on the field of battle, before eventually being felled by a rogue semi-colon. His tomb is a tourist destination for many English majors, featuring, among other interesting architectural details, a glossary made entirely of marble.

And it was on this day in 1936 that strikes at the Walleye Copper Mine turned violent, possibly owing to the singing of inflammatory folk songs. Thirteen people were jailed for singing “Tear the Filthy Scabs a New One” at the police. The so-called “Walleye Thirteen” became a celebrated cause among union activists, and were eventually released with a token fine. Many said that the greatest benefit to their arrest was the fact that radio personalities had to repeat lyrics to the song in question on-air.

And it was on this day in 1913 that the second known sighting of a plesiosaur was recorded, by the wife of a farmer named Colin McGrath. Mrs. McGrath reported that the plesiosaur came right up on the beach near their home and made “turrible sad and sundry noises.” McGrath himself would only say that he’d told the damn beastie to go home and if it wouldn’t do what was good for it, then he’d wash his hands of the whole affair, so he would.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Fabriano, patron of art supplies. St. Fabriano is invoked whenever the artist has found a truly wonderful tool, which is then promptly discontinued. A timely prayer to St. Fabriano is believed to be effective at locating quantities of these objects on clearance.

In the garden, watch for plant thieves. You will often find that a plant seems to have vanished from where you distinctly recall planting it, and obviously the only logical explanation is unscrupulous persons. Should a plant vanish, and you find it later some few feet away, it was probably plant gremlins. Sprinkle with holy water as needed.

Should it actually prove to be plant thieves, hanging is not too good for them.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also sponsored by the Migratory Bird Advisory Council. Be kind to our feathered friends! Or we’ll tie you to a pole and let the crows at your eyes. We mean it. Enough is enough.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for April 9th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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