The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday April 16th, 2014
Episode 93
Previous episode: 2014-04-14
Next episode: 2014-04-18


Today marks the anniversary of an art opening. It is also the day the Madonna of Leaves was spotted, and the day Stonybirth sank. It is the Feast-Day of the lower half of St. Gareth, and in the garden, there is green.

Be Safe, And Stay Out of Trouble,


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is April 16th, 2014.

It was on this day in 1902 that an exhibition of the Art Tableaux style of furniture was put on at the Royal Museum. It consisted of one hundred tables, end-tables, chests, dressers, and credenzas, and over eleven thousand artfully arranged knick-knacks. The exhibition raked in a great deal of money, but required an extraordinary amount of manpower, as guests kept accidentally knocking things over.

And it was on this day in 1945 that the Madonna of Leaves was seen briefly through a window by a school full of small children. They ran out of the school to follow the Madonna, which proved fortuitous, as the school promptly exploded. The cause was determined to be improperly stored chalkboard erasers and a citywide festival in honor of the Madonna of Leaves followed.

It was on this day in the twelfth century that the island of Stonybirth sank into the sea. Having been a volcanic island, the top simply blew off and water rushed into the resulting crater, forming a peculiar basalt-edged lagoon. The resulting cloud of steam could be seen from the mainland. The inhabitants had plenty of warning and had mostly moved away, except for that one guy, because there’s always one.

It is the Feast Day of the lower half of Saint Gareth of Stone, who was martyred in a superbly unpleasant fashion by the barbarian Ethel Khan. He is represented as a pair of naked legs with a discreet modesty halo. St. Gareth below-the-waist is invoked to ward off intestinal distress, because hagiography is full of irony.

In the garden, the chickweed has gone to seed, so if you didn’t pull it a few weeks ago, it’s a bit late now. These small nuisances aside, the garden is glorious and green and growing and it is a privilege to be out in it. This is a good time to chop back the more aggressive ground covers, who may be covering rather more ground than anticipated.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Conglomerate, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

We here at the Hidden Almanac would like to thank our former intern Sheila, better known as Her Imperial Majesty, Queen Raggenthoth the Fourth, Ruler of the Glass Wastes and Protector of the Coriander Isles, for the lovely fruit basket. We miss you, Sheila!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for April 16th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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