The Hidden Almanac for
Monday April 28th, 2014
Episode 98
Previous episode: 2014-04-25
Next episode: 2014-04-30


It is the 100th anniversary of “Iris I Have Known.” It is also the day a picture of a kitten went around, and the birthday of a medium cloud. It is the Feast Day of the Green Jay Saint, and in the garden, there is phlox.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is April 28th, 2014.

It is the 100th anniversary of the publication of Ginny Mitchell’s brilliant gardening memoir, “Iris I Have Known.” It outsold any other gardening manual of the previous fifty years, despite—or perhaps because of--an entire chapter dedicated to how to make your own blood meal using any ex-boyfriends you might have lying about the place. “Iris I Have Known” was one of the first gardening books to be banned by libraries, and enjoyed even more robust sales as a result.

And it was on this day in 2011 that a picture of a tiny, adorable kitten in a knit hat made the rounds. Business estimates place lost productivity within the city at nearly a billion dollars. The Worker Productivity Protection Act was proposed to limit such destructive imagery, but was shot down when opponents brought a kitten to the debates. It was set upon the podium, where it said “mew.” The Act died immediately.

It is the birthday of a medium-sized cumulonimbus cloud above and slightly to the left of the city. It plans to do that thing where there is a break in the clouds and visible sunbeams shine down, just as a nice gesture.

It is the Feast Day of the Green Jay Saint. Icons of this saint are found mostly in the far south and rarely make their way northward. Little is known about this saint, except that he’s very pretty. Eco-hagiographers concerned about invasive saints suggest keeping any icons quarantined until you are sure they will not spread.

In the garden, moss phlox is blooming. This easy-care plant forms an attractive carpet of pink flowers in the spring, but is fairly boring for the rest of the year and can look distinctly ratty by midsummer. It is perhaps advisable to plant fall-blooming bulbs among the phlox, so that you have something to look at later. The much less well known “mold phlox “ is difficult to find, and perhaps that’s for the best.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Kendrick’s Cat Food. 100% pure cat food! No ash, no additives, just the finest ingredients. Your cats will ask for it by name, and if they do, you should probably call a priest, because that’s not normal.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for April 28th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.