The Hidden Almanac for
Friday May 16th, 2014
Episode 106
Previous episode: 2014-05-14
Next episode: 2014-05-19


It is the birthday of the Dunkelkhan Ogre. It is also the day “Eleven Chimps And A Nun” debuted, and the day a keystone was laid. It is the Feast Day of the Madonna of Despair, and in the garden, there are yuccas.

Be Safe, and Stay Out Of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is May 16th, 2014.

It is the birthday of the Dunkelkhan Ogre, scourge of the lower highlands, who eats the bones of men and drinks vast quantities of tea. The Dunkelkhan Ogre should not be approached under any circumstances and if you happen to be traveling in the lower highlands, we suggest leaving your bones at home as a precaution.

And it was on this day in 1973 that the painting “Eleven Chimps And A Nun” was displayed for the first time at the Gallery d’Authentique. This abstract painting covered most of a wall and appeared to be a series of colored blobs, each one filled with tiny, precise lines making occasionally painful visual patterns. Staring at the painting for too long led to emotional distress and at least one intern at the gallery suffered a nervous breakdown because “the nun was staring at him from behind the paint.” The artist preferred to remain nameless and the show was shut down as a public health menace some weeks after opening. The current whereabouts of the paintings is unknown.

And it is the five-hundredth anniversary of the laying of the keystone on the Cathedral of St. Henry, in the town of Wunter. This cathedral suffered a great deal of damage over the course of various wars, as Wunter is regrettably strategically located, and eventually it collapsed, leaving only the keystone, rubble, and a great deal of pointy stained glass.

It is the Feast Day of the Madonna of Despair. Just…don’t observe this one. It’ll be better for everyone.

In the garden, yuccas are sending up flower spikes. This is startling the first time it happens, but normal. Your structural plant you bought for the leaves is feeling the need to express itself creatively. It will be all right.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the extremely cool coffee shop. If you were cool enough, you’d already know where we were.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for May 16th,, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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