The Hidden Almanac for
Monday May 19th, 2014
Episode 107
Previous episode: 2014-05-16
Next episode: 2014-05-21


Today is the Parade of the Jesters. It is also the day a small boy fought, and the day the Lydia Blane Clothing Company introduced a new shirt. It is the Feast Day of St. Rosa, and in the garden, there are larvae.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is May 19th, 2014.

It is the celebration of the annual Parade of the Jesters, founded in 1441, by Crumplestein the Magnificent. A line of jesters juggles and pratfalls their way across the city, although a decline in the number of jesters over the centuries has made this an increasingly short parade. Worshippers of Smilegod occasionally come out to assist, because otherwise it would just be sad.

It was on this day that a small boy with a branch attacked an unspeakable foe. The results of this battle are not recorded.

And it was on this day twenty years ago that the Lydia Blane Clothing Company invented a shirt that would never, ever, ever ride up, no matter how the wearer was sitting, bending, or moving. This miraculous article of clothing sold out nearly instantly and caused riots whenever shipments arrived. Multiple factories were switched over to meet demand and the Never-Gap T-shirt remains one of the highest selling women’s clothing items on the market today.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Rosa, patron of gardeners, who loved birds and animals and was a generally sweet and blameless individual. This is so unusual among saints that she is beloved of hagiographers and affectionately referred to as “the little sainted mother.” Icons stand over the Hall of Scribes in the city and in many gardens throughout the countryside.

In the garden, check rain barrels for mosquito larvae. Stare grimly at them. Those are larvae all right. A variety of dunks exist to kill them, but they are basically made of poison and even though they SAY they’re safe for frogs, people who want to sell you pesticides will say a lot of things. Resolve to get better fitting lids for the rain barrels. Assuming the barrel is already infested, consider leaving the lid off. If you are fortunate, dragonfly larvae will soon come along and take care of the problem for you. Otherwise, a thin skin of oil over the surface will supposedly suffocate the larvae, although this somewhat negates the purpose of having a rain barrel in the first place.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Boylan’s Tooth Merchants. You want teeth? We got ‘em! You want to know where they came from? Too bad for you. Boylan’s. We’ve got teeth.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for May 19th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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