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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday May 21st, 2014
Episode 108
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2014-05-19
Next episode: 2014-05-23

SummaryEdit

Today a kombucha culture attained sentience. It is a wedding anniversary, and marks the founding of the Currency Stamp Rebellion. It is the Feast Day of St. Whippetus, and in the garden, there is cat mint.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is May 21st, 2014.

It was on this day in 1984 that a kombucha culture, belonging to a woman who called herself Starflower Rising, achieved sentience. It bided its time for some months, composing increasingly hostile haiku, before making a break for freedom by knocking its jar over and escaping into the sewers. The mole people report that the culture, which calls itself “The Mother of Anguish,” is still there, and still very angry about something.

It is the seventh wedding anniversary of a rhinoceros and a hippo, whose forbidden love remains strong.

And it is the anniversary of the founding of the Currency Stamp Rebellion, a grassroots campaign which attempted to get money out of politics by stamping anti-corruption slogans on dollar bills. Unfortunately the ink was quite poor quality and rapidly blurred into a large pink blob on the bill, and anyway, as various pundits pointed out, the number of politicians who could be bribed with a dollar bill are few and far between.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Whippetus, patron of gazehounds. This saint is potrayed as a muzzled greyhound crowned with a halo, holding a rabbit by the ears. St. Whippetus is not, as one might think, invoked at racetracks, but is much favored by greyhound rescue organizations.

In the garden, the catmint is blooming. This is not significant, as catmint blooms halfway to forever. Bees are fond of it, and most varieties are of no interest to cats. Should you plant catnip, however, expect to have your flowerbed turned into a litterbox. It is best avoided unless you are extremely fond of feral cats.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Sven’s Live Cat-Traps, designed to trap strays with a minimum of stress and provide a comfortable holding area until they can be relocated. Because no one is that fond of feral cats.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for May 21st, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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