The Hidden Almanac for
Friday May 23rd, 2014
Episode 109
Previous episode: 2014-05-21
Next episode: 2014-05-26


Today is the birthday of Hayseed McGraw. It also marks the fall of the Kingdom under the Mountain, and the day a new rose was introduced. It is the Feast Day of Boats, and in the garden, there is pruning.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is May 23rd, 2014.

It is the birthday of Hayseed McGraw, founder of a series of feed stores throughout the highlands, which offered “Hayseed Brand Feed.” Each sack came with a cheerful saying printed on them, including such statements as “Health is Wealth!” “Eat and apple a day and you’ll live forever!” and “Hayseed Feed Cures Baldness.” Some of these statements were investigated by the Royal Medical Society and found to be not entirely factual.

And it was on this day in 1995 that the Great Lupercalia Drought finally brought down the kingdom of the Lord of the Mountain. The kingdom had stood for some five hundred years, resisting invasion, plague, and missionaries, but could not stand against lack of water. Refugees sought homes in other cities and the Kingdom of the Mountain remains empty to this day…mostly. Rumor has it that the Lord of the Mountain refused to leave his kingdom and is still alive inside the ruined city. Looters have made brief forays into the ruins, but the Lord of the Mountain was very fond of booby traps and survival rates are not high.

It was on this day in 1958 that a pin-striped rose was entered into the Royal Botanical Flower Show. This hybrid tea rose had sensible dark blue stripes, and was described as “Ground-breaking” ‘extraordinary’ “a triumph of horticultural art” and “business-like.” The pin-striped rose was one of several breeding stocks used to create Secretary-Bushes some years later.

It is the Feast Day of Boats. Gondoliers are granted diplomatic immunity on this day and should be approached cautiously.

In the garden, it is time to prune the giant hollow-stem Joe-Pye Weed back. Failure to do so will result in a sixteen foot long plant lying horizontally along the ground by July. Lopping off the top few inches now will result in a shorter, sturdier plant with fewer but more numerous flowerheads.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Currency Stamp Rebellion. We’ve bought better ink, we promise.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for May 23rd, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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