| The Hidden Almanac for|
Monday May 26th, 2014
|Previous episode: 2014-05-23|
|Next episode: 2014-05-28|
Today the Bridge of Monks fell down again. It also marks the passing of Melinda Berman, and a feud between Blatt and Sworn. It is the Feast Day of St. Rudolpho, and in the garden, there is an editor.
Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.
Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.
Today is May 26th, 2014.
And it was on this day in 1540 that the House of Blatt set fire to the House of Sworn, for which the House of Sworn retaliated by diverting a river into the basement of the House of Blatt. Loss of life was minimal but property damage was immense, culminating in a pitched battle between the two Dowagers, who slapped one another with fans until they were both nearly unconscious.
And it was on this day twenty-five years ago that Melinda Berman, the Masked Editor, passed away. Her obituary was proofread thirty-six times and shone as a testament to correct use of semicolons. A national day of mourning was declared for one of the great heroes of editing and thesauruses were shelved at half-mast for a week.
It is the Feast Day of Saint Rudolpho, patron saint of places found while drunk and never found again while sober. St. Rudolpho is invoked with great ceremony by those lost in the woods when all attempts to regain the path have failed, and tiny “Rudolpho Flasks” are included in many survival kits.
In the garden, the copyeditor is doing drugs. We can see you. You’re not fooling anyone, claiming to be “weeding.” We will allow this today, as it is the anniversary of the death of a heroic editor and a holy day of your people, but you had better be back on the job tomorrow.
The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Cooperative, locally-owned purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”
Also brought to you by Dark Branch Brewing Company. There are mosquitoes. And ticks. There is nothing to be done. But if you drink enough, it won’t matter anyway. Dark Branch: When you’re just trying to endure.
That’s the Hidden Almanac for May 26th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.
Out of Character
The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.