The Hidden Almanac for
Friday June 6th, 2014
Episode 115
Previous episode: 2014-06-04
Next episode: 2014-06-09


Today we remember the hummingbirds and the zeppelin. We also remember the barista Emma McLaughlin, and the deposition of a corgi. It is the Feast Day of St. Chaski, and in the garden, there is a cat.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is June 6th, 2014.

It was on this day in 1921 that hummingbirds brought down a zeppelin. It had been repainted for the Rose Festival, in a pattern of thousands of red flowers. “In retrospect,” said the zeppelin’s owner, “that may have been a mistake.” Hundreds of hummingbirds swarmed what looked like a gigantic low-flying flower garden and began stabbing with their bills at the tempting painted flowers. “Normally this wouldn’t be an issue,” said the zeppelin’s owner, “but they were just really determined. I think when they figured out that the flowers weren’t real, they got kind of pissed off.” The zeppelin was able to make a controlled landing and no one was injured, although gardeners reported that their resident hummingbirds were more irritable than usual for some days afterward.

It is the birthday of the heroic barista Emma McLaughlin, who won the freedom of her people from the barbarian chieftan Ethel Khan, by producing a single, perfectly made Columbian depth charge, which requires all the ingredients to be added in the correct order, steamed, then strained. Ethel Khan, who loved her conquest but loved her coffee more, freed McLaughlin’s tribe and allowed them safe passage over the border.

It was on this day in 1748 that the stuffed corgi, which had ruled for many years, was deposed in a coup by the villainous wooden penguin. Corgi loyalists were forced to go underground by penguin supporters. Several folk songs of the time are believed to be coded references to the captivity of their ruler, including “My Love Had A Squeaky Toy” and “Bring Back My Woofy To Me.”

It is the Feast Day of Saint Chaski, patron of maps and mapmaking. He set out on foot to explore the entire world, a journey which lasted almost three days before he quit, complaining of blisters. Standards for sainthood were lower back then.

In the garden, a cat has been getting in, using the beds as a litterbox, and terrorizing the birds. I am very displeased by this. Interns are now stationed at key points, ready to chase the cat away as needed, but I fear it may already be too late for a particular tufted titmouse.

Very. Displeased.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by McLaughlin Brand Coffees! Taste the flavor that saved a nation! Available in fine stores near you! Ask for it by name.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for June 6th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit