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The Hidden Almanac for
Monday June 9th, 2014
Episode 116
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2014-06-06
Next episode: 2014-06-11

SummaryEdit

Today we remember the murder of Edward Matthews. We also remember the arrest of Agatha Marlon, and the birthday of Manuel Allpa. It is the Feast Day of Lead, and in the garden, there is still a cat.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is June 9th, 2014.

It was on this day in 1907 that furniture-maker Agatha Marlon, enraged by the fact that her chosen decorating style “Art Tableaux” was falling out of fashion, went on a rampage through a furniture showroom. She was armed with a small, expensive end table and managed to brain her chief rival, one Edward Matthews. Mr. Matthews had founded the Slick Deco movement, which relied on minimal possessions and absolutely pristine, empty surfaces. He had dismissed Art Tableaux as a style for “old people and hoarders.” Matthews attempted to defend himself with a floor lamp but was ultimately unsuccessful. Marlon, bloody but unbowed, was taken away in handcuffs and Art Tableaux faded into obscurity.

And it is the birthday of the great potato breeder Manuel Allpa, who studied among the mountain people and brought back many cultivars on the brink of extinction. Among these were Golden Fish, a slender, yellow-fleshed potato excellent for the water’s edge, and Hummingbird Heart, a tiny red potato roasted and eaten as a snack. It is estimated that nearly 20% of genetic variability in modern potatoes can be traced to Allpa’s work.

And it was on this day that a small turtle, having reached the summit of a mountain almost nine months ago, finally reached the base. He was very happy to be home.

It is the Feast Day of Lead. It would be best to avoid eating paint chips on this day, or indeed, on any day.

In the garden, the cat has been sighted. Two interns report that it is a tortoiseshell and that it appears entirely unrepentant about the matter of the titmouse. Steps will have to be taken. The Hidden Almanac Test Garden is a sanctuary, and we do not allow strays to eat our birds and then poop them out later into our flowerbeds. This will not stand.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Roaming Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and well-traveled teas. Roaming Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Emmett, Emmett, & Herne Legal Offices. Have you or someone you love suffered from earworms? You may be eligible for compensation. Contact Emmet, Emmet and & Herne today!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for June 9th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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