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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday August 6th, 2014
Episode 141
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2014-08-04
Next episode: 2014-08-08

SummaryEdit

Today is The Running of the Centaurpedes. it also marks another sighting of The Black Beast, and the debut of the comic hero SlugMan. It is the Feast Day of St. Caliper, and in the garden, there are finches.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is August 6th, 2014.

It is the annual Running of the Centaurpedes, which is held in the village of El Mango, on the edge of the Glass Wastes. Young men test their mettle by trying to outrace the deadly clacking tide. Even a small centaurpede can deliver a powerful bite that causes swelling, burning, tingling, heart arrhythmia and eventual allergy to sun.

Fortunately, I do not ever go out in the sun if I can avoid it.

And it was on this day, over a century ago, that the Black Beast was sighted in the sewers of the city. Many residents reported seeing glowing eyes in the storm drains, gazing out at them along High Street. A large crowd reported that the owner of the eyes crawled out of the storm drain, spreading its wings with a snap, and half-climbed, half-flew over the rooftops. Some witnesses reported that it was shrieking inhumanly while it did so, but the majority said that it was silent, and it must be guessed that someone in the crowd was doing most of the shrieking.

And it was on this day in 1954 that the superhero Slugman was introduced as a minor character in the popular comic “Captain Chaos.” Slugman was rapidly spun off into his own comic and developed a full cast of associated heroes, including Slugwoman, Slugboy, Sluggirl, the Slug Cadets, and Slimy the Wonder Slug. Following flagging sales in the 90’s, Slugman was given a dark, gritty reboot that saw him frequenting strip clubs and snorting rock salt. The reboot was considered the last nail in the coffin and Slugman’s comic was retired in 2002, although Slimy the Wonder Slug continued with an animated series described as “ground-breaking” and “the single best hour of Saturday morning television.”

It is the Feast Day of Saint Caliper, patron of ebooks. Those who travel the awful roads between formats are advised to invoke St. Caliper to guide their way. Legend has it that the saint was martyred by a savage PDF in the dark early days of publishing. They are portrayed as an androgynous figure holding a levitating book above their palms. Do not anger St. Caliper, or your ebooks will forever be available only in .rtf format.

In the garden, the goldfinches are feeding on the volunteer sunflowers, and the wicker man has been taken away from the interns. Also, the matches. All is peaceful. The melons and cucumbers are starting to succumb to powdery mildew, but you can’t have everything.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Sofawolf Press. You know what won’t relocate to Echo Harbor? Sofawolf Press! For all your fine furry fiction needs.[1]

That’s the Hidden Almanac for August 6th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

  1. Sofawolf Press publishes many of Ursula's works, including Digger. They are also a sponsor of Kevin and Ursula's other podcast, Kevin and Ursula Eat Cheap. The "You know what won't ..." call and response is often used before their sponsor spot on the show.

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