The Hidden Almanac for
Friday August 22nd, 2014
Episode 148
Previous episode: 2014-08-20
Next episode: 2014-08-25


Today the drug Indigone was released. It is also the day Worms-Moving-Sideways was named poet laureate. It is the Feast Day of Djinn, and in the garden, there are yellow leaves.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is August 22nd, 2014.

It was on this day in 1893 that the tranquilizer Indigone was first used to anesthetize patients undergoing surgery. Indigone was astonishingly effective, even more so than ether, and was hailed as the greatest advance in surgical techniques of the age. The patient could be kept under for over an hour without significant danger, allowing for lengthy and delicate surgeries. For many years, it could only be isolated from the droppings of Indigo Woodpeckers, leading to hundreds of captive breeding programs, but eventually was synthesized in the lab. Feral populations of Indigo Woodpeckers are found throughout the world, as a result of escapees from these breeding programs.

And it was on this day that the poet Worms-Moving-Sideways, poet of the mole people, was named poet laureate of the city. He was the first non-human so honored, and a small but vitriolic protest movement sprung up demanding his removal. This human supremacist movement attempted to picket his investiture and went so far as to demand the Prime Minister revoke the honor. The Prime Minister refused and released a statement saying “Poetry is one of the few things common to all the peoples of the earth. The mole people dwell at the foundations of our city and there is no poet in the empire whom I would rather see honored than one from among their ranks.”

This statement, and the eventual popularity of the translations of Worms-Moving-Sideways’ work, is credited with bringing about a new era of peaceful cooperation with the mole people. It can only be hoped that the protesters went home and felt very ashamed of themselves.

It is the Feast Day of Djinn. These desert dwelling spirits were crafted of immortal fire and should be approached cautiously, preferably by running very fast in the opposite direction. Should you encounter a djinn, be very polite and do not agree to release it from any rings, bottles, or flasks in which it may be imprisoned. There is probably a reason.

In the garden, the interns are listless, probably from standing stone withdrawal. Meanwhile, many vegetables in the Hidden Almanac Test Garden have yellowing leaves. There are many causes of this, most of which can be fixed with fertilizer. In our case, it appears to be chelosis, which is caused by a lack of iron in the soil. Chelosis can be detected by the presence of bright yellow leaves with strong green veins. Various iron supplements can be applied to fix this problem. They would have been applied weeks ago, if not for this whole standing stone mess.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the third leaf on the eighth sycamore on the left side of High Street, just after the Kingfisher Bridge. This leaf believes strongly in public radio.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for August 22nd, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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