The Hidden Almanac for
Friday August 29th, 2014
Episode 151
Previous episode: 2014-08-27
Next episode: 2014-09-01


Today we recall the day the city fell. It is also the day the Flood Tree was struck by lightning. It is The Feast Day of Sturgeon, and in the garden, there are beans.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is August 29th, 2014.

It was on this day in 12,000 BC that the city walls fell and the raiders from the south invaded the city. There was only one city at the time, and it had no name. The raiders did not know what to do once they were inside. They went from door to door, looking at the inhabitants, and then finally left again, puzzled why anyone would choose to live so close together. “We expected some reason why men would live wedged together so close,” said their leader. “A great magic or a terrible ruler. But there was nothing. Perhaps these people have been taken by the spirits of some hive-dwelling insects. There is no sense to it.” The raiders went away, over the hills. A few people went with them. For the other city-dwellers, life went on more or less as it had been.

And it was on this day in 2007 that a bristlecone pine called the Flood Tree, believed to be the single oldest living organism on earth, was struck by lightning. Dendrochronology revealed that the Flood Tree was over 5,200 years old, making it a contemporary of the vast majority of recorded history. Several trunks began to regrow from the roots, and were named the Flood Tree Juniors, although it is widely believed among botanists that the name lacked a certain elegance.

It is the Feast Day of Sturgeons. If you are a large prehistoric fish, today is your day. If you are not, refrain from eating caviar today, as that would be extraordinarily crass.

In the garden, several of the more mentally resilient interns have been released back to weeding duty, although we are keeping them well away from the frog pond. Several pernicious weeds have sprung up in the last weeks, including the one with thorns on every joint and the one that always snaps off halfway up and leaves you grubbing around for the roots. Both are unpleasant, although not nearly so much as the clump of grass that takes up half the arable dirt in the garden when you rip it out by the roots.

The beans continue their second flush of growth, with good yields on Mother Stallard, Rattlesnake Pole, and Eye of the Goat. The usually indomitable Scarlet Runner Beans are producing a great many leaves this year, but few bean pods. Clearly we have been too kind to them this year. Next year, there will be no fertilizer for free-loaders.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the good people at Wee Willie’s Wolverine Farm! Looking for a great new pet that’s loyal, protective, and utterly unlike anything else on your block? Consider a wolverine! They’re good in the snow, they don’t require grooming and they will even go out and eat the neighbors, drastically reducing your food bill! Visit Wee Willie’s Wolverine Farm today!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for August 29th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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