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The Hidden Almanac for
Monday September 8th, 2014
Episode 155
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Previous episode: 2014-09-05
Next episode: 2014-09-10

SummaryEdit

Today we recall the eruption of a volcano. It is also the day The Iron Strangler was executed, and the day “Sun Weasels” debuted. It is the Feast Day of St. Oakenforth, and in the garden, we are inspired.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is September 8th, 2014.

As you can hear, the station has switched to an all country-western format. The Hidden Almanac will continue, as it fulfills the five minutes of community programming required for licensure. I have, however, been instructed to make history more…inspirational.

It was on this day in 854 that a volcano erupted several hundred miles from modern-day Troyzantium, burying the city of Yaddish in thousands of tons of burning ash. There were no survivors. However, the preserved condition of Yaddish had earned a place as one of the great archaeological sites of the ancient world. I consider that very inspirational, don’t you? And all those people would be dead by now, anyway.

And it was on this day in 1866 that the notorious murderer, The Iron Strangler, was executed. His reign of terror lasted five months, when he killed citizens by strangling them with barbed wire. His victims were exclusively men, between the ages of eighteen and forty, mostly from the upper middle-class, who were “slumming.” Police believe his motives had something to do with laws regarding Inclosure of common lands, judging from writings found at his dwellings. The Iron Strangler was clearly a very bad person, and it is very inspiring that they caught him eventually. After he killed thirty-six people. Horribly. For months. Very…inspiring.

And it was on this day in 1981 that the movie “Sun Weasels” was released. The premise was that humanity was afflicted with a terrible disease, causing the victim’s skin to break into lesions when exposed to sunlight. The lesions would then swell and badly animated weasel-like creatures would erupt from the sores, killing everyone in their path. It was terrible, and thus gained an immediate cult following. Most of the actors changed their names and refused to acknowledge that it ever happened. Art is inspiring.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Oakenforth, who grants us shelter. St. Oakenforth was a very old oak tree, which sheltered Saint Marilyn within its trunk when she was sought by her enemies. It is represented as an acorn with a tree inside, and a woman curled among the roots.

In the garden, it has been requested that we give farm reports. No.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Banjo Company, purveyors of fine and melodic banjos. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Banjos.”

Also brought to you by Ma Pickle’s Jug Band! All her performing pickles are rescues, given a new lease on life as jug-band players. Purebred pickles can be lovely, but jars are full of rescue pickles just looking for a forever home. Come on out to the Ma Pickle concert and adoption event, down at the old fairgrounds!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for September 8th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media. It is written by Ursula Vernon. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. Our intro music is "Clear Blue Sky" by Chatham County Line and our exit music is "Scotland the Brave" by Shake That Little Foot. You can find more music by both groups at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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