The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday September 10th, 2014
Episode 156
Previous episode: 2014-09-08
Next episode: 2014-09-12


Today we are inspired by remembering the sinking of the Rapture of Poseidon. It is also the day the Pickwick Casino closed. It is the Feast Day of Paper Orchids, and in the garden, there are no chickens.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is September 10th, 2014.

Continuing with our inspirational history, it was on this day in 1884 that the cruise ship Rapture of Poseidon sank in stormy seas. Ninety-five people perished, owing to a lack of lifeboats, and then sixty-five more people died because the existing lifeboats were inexplicably filled with government cheese. “It was terrible,” said one survivor. “There was no water. We threw cheese to the sharks because it was too salty to eat.”

The captain was court-martialed, found guilty, and died a few days later under mysterious circumstances. The Rapture incident led to new laws dictating maritime safety and stiff penalties for cheese hoarding. The way that our legal system responds to adversity is always an inspiration.

And it was on this day that a gigantic neon sign, erected in violation of all building codes, fell down. The sign was put up by the Pickwick Casino, who cheerfully paid for the code violation, saying that the revenue brought in far exceeded the daily fines. When the sign — which said “LOOSEST SLOTS IN TOWN” in five story high blinking letters — fell, it went through the top of the casino, killing dozens of top executives, but halted just before reaching the casino floor, where the innocent people were. The Pickwick Casino’s insurance refused to cover them, saying “Building codes are there for a reason.” The casino went bankrupt overnight and the casino, still with a sign sticking out of it, became a fine example of advanced urban decay. In recent years, urban farmers have taken over the sections of rooftop that are still structurally sound, and are growing cabbages inside the remains of the giant neon W. Urban farming is one of the most inspirational things happening in the world today, and I think we should all take a moment to admire it.

It is the Feast Day of Paper Orchids. Hang paper flowers in chains from the windows for good luck on this day.

In the garden, the new station management requests that we speak of backyard chicken keeping. Very well. Some people keep chickens. I do not. I have occasionally enjoyed looking through chicken catalogs, which are much like seed catalogs, but have never gone so far as to order a Barred Rock or Echo Harbor Thrasher. I bow to no one in my appreciation of chicken manure as a fertilizer, but I do not wish to own them.

Pastor Drom had a chicken once. I believe she named it “Bunny.” I assume the chicken eventually required therapy.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Big Tent Revival Meeting down by the creek! Come one, come all! Bring your sins! It’s time for a revival!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for September 10th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media. It is written by Ursula Vernon. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. Our intro music is "Clear Blue Sky" by Chatham County Line and our exit music is "Scotland the Brave" by Shake That Little Foot. You can find more music by both groups at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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