The Hidden Almanac for
Monday September 22nd, 2014
Episode 161
Previous episode: 2014-09-19
Next episode: 2014-09-24


Today, a ceramic cube appeared in the House of Parliament. It is also the day inventor Calvin Saunders applied for a patent. It is the Feast Day of Saint Anna of Brust, and in the garden, there appear to be daikon.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac…groovy…people. I’m your host…Swingin’ Reverend Mord.

DROM! What have you done?

PD: I’m working on it! Miracles don’t happen right away!

RM: I have been told to be groovy, Drom. I do not do groovy.

PD: Look, in the immortal words of one of our order’s founders, “You know what happens when you rush a miracle? You get lousy miracles.”

RM: That was a movie.

PD: It was a documentary. Just bear with me. Give the miracle time to work.

RM: *heavy sigh*

Today is September 22nd, 2014.

It was on this day in 1964 that a sinister ceramic cube appeared in the House of Parliament. It was about four inches on a side, somewhat irregular, and had a white crackled glaze. Pages approaching it said that it seemed very untrustworthy. “Not like a bomb,” one reported, “but more like it was taking bribes or something.” The cube was moved nervously around the chambers for some weeks, before it vanished and later took work as a lobbyist for the corn industry.

And it was on this day in 1862 that the inventor Calvin Saunders applied for a patent for the magnesium ribbon flash. This flat ribbon was inscribed with pre-measured lengths, allowing photographers to easily determine how much ribbon was required for their photos. It was replaced in 1929 by the invention of the flashbulb, though many photographers complained that relying on the newfangled flashbulb would lead to careless photography. “Can one truly take a great photo without the fear that one will blow one’s fingernails to kingdom come?” asked famed photographer “Eight-Fingered Jones.” “Will this not lead to a generation of photographers who are less dedicated, less careful, less truly invested in their art?” This led to a brief fad of self-mutilation among younger photographers, attempting to prove their artistic credentials by scorching off bits of their fingers, but this eventually ended when everyone involved realized that it was stupid.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Anna of Brust, patron of cabinet makers. Legend has it that she was engaged to a pagan warlord, but when he came to her bedchamber, she had vanished. She was, in fact, hiding in the closet. The warlord was apparently not terribly bright, for after checking under the bed, he left without checking the closet. St. Anna claimed this to be miraculous and became the leader of a convent, dying, still a virgin, at the age of 97. The convent of St. Anna is noted for an extraordinary amount of closet space.

In the garden, the daikons planted for the fall crop have sprouted. Perhaps this will work out after all.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by station changes that will hopefully not be happening if somebody gets their miracle done correctly.

PD: Working on it!

RM: That’s the Hidden Almanac for September 22nd, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media. It is performed & produced by Kevin Sonney and written by Ursula Vernon. The voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Today's music is Latché Swing with "Hungaria" which you can find at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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