The Hidden Almanac for
Friday October 3rd, 2014
Episode 166
Previous episode: 2014-10-01
Next episode: 2014-10-06


It is the birthday of ballerina Laurel Murglenn. It is also the day the snails came. It is the Feast Day of Princes, and in the garden, there is squash.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Funkadelic Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord, who is categorically refusing to be swinging any longer.

Today is October 3rd, 2014.

It was on this day in 1916 that famed ballerina Laurel Murglenn was born. She trained at the Royal Ballet Academy from the age of six and became the premier ballerina of her age. At the age of 17, she danced the lead in “The Seventh Swan.” She was very young for the role, and had been only an understudy, when the lead ballerina came down with a terrible case of stabbing. Laurel’s performance was exquisite and no one was ever able to link the murder back to her, despite rumors that the deceased ballerina had written “It was Laurel, No Really Aaaargh It Hurts” in her own blood.

Laurel enjoyed a meteoric rise to fame, accompanied by a terrible run of bad luck among other ballerinas, which eventually ended with her dancing every single female role in the ballet company’s performance of “The Battle of Birds and Mice.” This required sixteen costume changes and almost three hours spent en pointe.

She retired immediately afterward and died in 1989, fabulous wealthy and powerfully mistrusted.

And it was on this day in the Year of Starlings that snails overran Echo Harbor. The snails were about the size of a man’s hand and had strange words written on their shells. Several prominent citizens worked out that if you laid the snails next to each other, the words formed complete sentences in a dead language. Scholars were still piecing together the story thus formed when the snails vanished again, leaving only slime and chewed leaves in their wake.

It is the Feast Day of Princes. In ancient days, this was when the Harvest Prince was slain and ritually devoured, to prepare the earth for winter. Fortunately, we are no longer so barbaric, and now limit ourselves as a society to marshmallow princes. Bite the heads off first, or else the magic won’t work.

In the garden, winter squash is ripe. If you do not garden, these can also be purchased at the farmer’s market. A good winter squash should have a dull matte surface, rather than a shine, and should be free of soft spots and discoloration. Properly stored, with a bit of stem left on, winter squash can last for months. They can be used in any recipe that calls for pumpkin. Some particularly fine cultivars include “Mother Mary Butternut,” “Tippety Witchet,” and “Three-Lobed Burning Acorn.”

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Silent Nightclub. It’s Ghost Night! Ghosts drink for free, and other undead get cocktails for half price! Come and find us, if you dare!

That’s the Hidden Funkadelic Almanac for October 3rd, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media. It is performed & produced by Kevin Sonney and written by Ursula Vernon. The voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Today's music is Latché Swing with "Hungaria" which you can find at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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