The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday October 15th, 2014
Episode 171
Previous episode: 2014-10-13
Next episode: 2014-10-17


Today a perfect orchid bloomed. It is also the birthday of the Mule With A Thousand Eyes. It is the Feast Day of St. Chalcion, and in the garden, there are more crows. Wonderful crows.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is October 15th, 2014.

It was on this day, in the Year of Unending Rain, that a prominent citizen of the town of Echo Harbor entered a single, perfect orchid in the Royal Flower Show. It bloomed for one day, before the eyes of the judges, and sent them reeling away, weeping for all that they had lost in their lives. The orchid was granted the highest honors, and the senior judge said, through tears, “We have wasted so many days, so many sunsets…” He made his way from the flower show and called his estranged son. The orchid withered and was gone by nightfall. No one has been able to determine the species or genus of the orchid, although observers confirm that it was pink.

And it is the birthday of the Mule With A Thousand Eyes.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Chalcion, patron of cyclists. Set upon by bandits, Chalcion was fleeing down the road when he was granted a vision of the Madonna of Leaves on a nearby hill. He ran toward the vision and discovered an empty barrel there and immediately crawled inside.

Since the bandits were watching this happen, there was no question of concealment, but a moment later the barrel fell over and began to roll down the hill at a terrific speed. Unable to keep pace, the bandits watched the barrel and the saint roll to safety. When he emerged from the barrel, Chalcion vomited several times and then made offerings to the Madonna of Leaves.

Chalcion is portrayed as a man with a tonsure standing in a barrel, with one hand raised to the viewer and the other covering his mouth. The connection to cycling is tenuous at best, but people do like to have their own patron saint.

In the garden, the crows are growing in number. We have counted some twenty-seven individuals. The folk-practice of corvimancy purports to tell the future via the movement and numbers of crows. There are a number of rhymes about this--“One for sorrow, one for mirth” and so forth—but none of them go up to twenty-seven. The future shall remain, as it always has been, a mystery.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by St. Offren’s Grounds! Our chief hagiographers have researched the exact blend drunk by the saint and produced this remarkable coffee. Get it now, at participating coffee shops! “St. Offren’s – A Brew Worth Being Martyred For.”

That’s the Hidden Almanac for October 15th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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