The Hidden Almanac for
Monday October 27th, 2014
Episode 176
Previous episode: 2014-10-24
Next episode: 2014-10-29


Today we celebrate the live of Keiko Hayashi. It is also the day a haunted house opened in the the city. It is the Feast Day of St. Scarvus, and in the garden, there are asters. Also, the crows have a new trick.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is October 27th, 2014.

It is the birthday of Keiko Hayashi, author of Mindful Gardening. This book, published in 1999, revolutionized much of the conversation around gardens. It argued that the purpose of a garden was not merely to entertain the gardener, but to feed the spirit. “Human beings are often lonely,” wrote Hayashi, “and for that reason, we seek out friends—the birds and beasts of the garden, the insects underfoot, the plants themselves. Companionship is not found in poison and sprays, but in understanding.” Many gardeners embraced this philosophy whole-heartedly, while others said that they flatly refused to embrace voles and centipedes and that was just all there was to it.

And it was on this day in 1978 that the World’s Most Terrifying Haunted House opened in the city, and then closed three days later. Visitors emerged with severe heart palpitations, minor lacerations, with most having urinated on themselves. They were also all missing their shoes. The haunted house was shut down, citing health concerns. Various low-budget films were made claiming that murders had taken place there, but the health department insisted that it had more to do with people wandering barefoot in urine. There is probably a moral here somewhere.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Scarvus, who saved the harvest from inchworms. Inchworms invaded in vast numbers, raining from the trees and moving, an inch at a time, toward the fields. Scarvus stood before them and preached a mighty sermon, lasting some eighteen hours, at the end of which he died of exhaustion and the inchworms died of boredom. This was considered a net win by the other members of Scarvus’s monastery, who had often had to endure the sermons themselves. Scarvus was duly canonized and is portrayed as a man with a halo, holding an inchworm which also has a halo, for some reason.

In the garden, we are experiencing magnificent fall weather. The asters are blooming extravagantly, the goldenrod is nearly done, and the crows have taken to throwing dice on the roof. They appear to be gambling for Cheetos. I am not sure that we have improved their society.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Bob’s House of Coats. Come to the remains of the car lot and try on a coat. We have several. It is cold out. Very cold. Like the grave. You should wear a coat. It would be for the best.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for October 27th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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