The Hidden Almanac for
Monday November 10th, 2014
Episode 182
Previous episode: 2014-11-07
Next episode: 2014-11-12


Today we remember the twins Zee and Zed. We also have a harrowing remembrance of Near-Apocalypse. It is the Feast Day of St. Wattle, and in the garden, there are radishes.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is November 10th, 2014.

It is the birthday, in 1896, of Zee and Zed, conjoined twins. Billed as “the Double Miracle,” Zee and Zed were joined along the back, a rarity in this already rare condition. Zee and Zed worked in a carnival sideshow for a number of years before Zed’s extraordinary powers of stock prediction allowed them to make enough money to buy out the sideshow. They devoted the rest of their lives to ensuring quality working conditions among carnival workers, before passing away peacefully at the age of 74.

And it is the 30th anniversary of the Alien Near-Apocalypse, touched off by a radio play. Station XYZZY 94.3 attempted to present a radio drama, purported to be actual reports of aliens landing on the outskirts of the city. No one ever listened to XYZZY, which had a broadcast range of approximately 50 feet, and the average consumer was more than savvy enough to know that this was merely fiction.

Unfortunately, one of the soldiers on duty in the nuclear missile facility coincidentally located under the station (a fact unknown to the staff) was listening to the broadcast and left it running when he went to the bathroom. The computers, which had primitive voice activation sequences, were turned on by a specific sequence of words in the broadcast, and began a countdown. Nuclear Armageddon approached while the frantic soldiers attempted to locate a manual.

Since no one had turned off the radio, several other nations (who had bugged the missile facility) were now listening to reports of aliens invading and began bombarding the Prime Minister with demands to know what was happening and why launch was imminent.

In the end, the launch, while not aborted, was successfully brought down over an unpopulated stretch of the Glass Wastes, where it made even more glass. There were many apologies by everyone involved.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Wattle, patron of fencing. The type with fenceposts, not the type with swords. He would be a much more interesting saint if it was the type with swords.

In the garden, the beans are finally dead, killed by frost, but many of the sturdier vegetables continue to grow, including peppers and the fall sowing of radishes. We have high hopes for those radishes.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Worm Dirt Company, purveyors of fine and crumbly soils. Red Worm --- “We Dig Dirt.”

Also brought to you by XYZZY 94.3, easy listening station. No words. No drama. No plays, no poetry, and all ads are done in interpretive dance. We have learned our lesson.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for November 10th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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