The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday November 12th, 2014
Episode 183
Previous episode: 2014-11-10
Next episode: 2014-11-14


Today marks the discovery of the Organpipe Cactus by Eland the Younger. It is also the day everyone turned to stone, and the birthday of someone who is adorable. It is the Feast Day of The Lord of Dying Corn, and in the garden, there are leaves.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is November 12th, 2014.

It was on this day that the naturalist Eland the Younger discovered the Greater Organpipe Cactus, a type of cactus distinguished by extraordinary complexity and extremely good sound quality. It does not grow readily from seed, however, and of the hundred seeds Eland brought back, only a few sprouted. The Royal Botanical Gardens were essential in husbanding this elegant cactus. It was Lord Roth, noted botanist and lover of cacti, who determined the cactus’s requirements. He eventually bred the gigantic Wurlitzer strain, which can grow thirty feet wide and weigh in excess of ten tons. Wurlitzer cacti are used as the base for most of the truly great organs in the world. Brass fittings are required to keep the ends from splitting under pressure, but the sound of a Wurlitzer is believed to be far superior to any metal organpipes. Upon his death, Lord Roth’s own Wurlitzer was donated to the cathedral of St. Ebbe, where it remains to this day.

And it was on this day in the Year of Drunken Leaves that every person in the town of Echo Harbor turned into a statue. This state lasted for one hour, thirty-three minutes, and then everyone turned back. Several prominent citizens described it as “restful” and “not all that unexpected.”

It is the birthday of the crow on the wire outside the station. He says “Rawk.”

It is the Feast Day of The Lord of Dying Corn, a somewhat distressing harvest god worshipped in the farthest and most barbaric reaches of the highlands. The Lord of Dying Corn must be given an unleavened loaf of bread every year, lest he come and take his meal himself. It is considered unwise to court this. Most farming communities are very careful to feed the Lord after the harvest is in.

In the garden, now would be a good time to clean out dead leaves from the pond. It would be an excellent time. I will have to get one of the interns on that immediately. Dead leaves are not a terrible thing to have in a pond, but small ponds can rapidly turn into small, vaguely damp depressions if they are not cleaned out regularly.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Silent Nightclub. There is a message for you. Nod once to the bartender without making eye contact, and he will slide it to you under a glass.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for November 12th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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