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The Hidden Almanac for
Friday December 26th, 2014
Episode 202
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2014-12-24
Next episode: 2014-12-29

SummaryEdit

Today we recall a flock of cedar waxwings. It is also the day Chicken Solitare was released. It is the Feast Day of Trilobites, and in the garden, there is rain.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is December 26th, 2014.

It was On this day that a flock of cedar waxwings descended on a juniper tree and began stripping off the berries. The juniper tree was rooted in the bones of a dead woman and her son, who had been inadvertently eaten by his own father, was lurking in the branches in the shape of a bird. He was supposed to chirp dire warnings to his sister, who was still alive, but the waxwings were excellent company and when the flock left, he went with them.

Some days later, his sister, who was no fool, fled the house and reported the cannibalism to the authorities. The whereabouts of the waxwings are unknown.

And it was on this day in 1995, in a post-holiday sale, that the game “Chicken Solitaire” was released for personal computers. This was a fairly standard solitaire game with one exception—each card dealt was met with excited chicken noises. Victory caused an animated chicken to run across the screen, laying eggs spelling the user’s name. Chicken Solitaire has sold over twelve million copies and is estimated to have cost the world well over a billion man-hours of labor.

It is the Feast Day of Trilobites. This feast is mostly celebrated by horseshoe crabs and pillbugs, but if you chose to hug an extinct marine arthropod today, no one would judge you.

In the garden, a warm snap has hit, along with drenching rains. The paths have turned to mud. George is on the porch, moodily eating Cheetos.

We do not know yet if this will turn into a hard freeze that traps the iris blades in ice and entombed foolishly early frogs, or if spring has come before the year has turned. Weather is largely unknowable. Perhaps it is for the best.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Suzy’s Seasonal Assassins. If you’re still stuck with relatives for another few days, we’re offering steep post-holiday discounts! Take a hit out on someone who shares your DNA today!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for December 26th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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