The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday December 31st, 2014
Episode 204
Previous episode: 2014-12-29
Next episode: 2015-01-02


Today marks the end of the year. We will explain the traditions of the cult of Mogluck. It is the Feast Day of St. Simone, and in the garden, we remember the beans.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is December 31st, 2014.

It is the eve of the changing year. Traditionally, there is a great deal of merriment and festivity, unless you belong to the cult of Mogluk the World Chicken, in which case each year passing marks a year closer to the Day of Hatching, when the earth shall split open like a cosmic egg and Mogluk shall be free at last to peck among the stars. Unfortunately this shall mean the end of the earth as we know it, as both halves careen out of orbit and smash into the sun. The worship of Mogluk has never been terribly popular, given this defeatist attitude.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Simone — the famous one, not the other one. St. Simone was a woman of extraordinary virtue, whose hand was sought by the princes of the known world. Battles were fought and at last, in the name of peace, she renounced marriage and sought the convent, where she worked many miracles.

There are several surviving portraits of St. Simone, which is unusual for saints, and none of them show the sort of beauty that would ordinarily drive princes to kill one another. “She was just fun to be around,” said one prince in a contemporary account. “You felt like you were part of a grand adventure. And she laughed at your jokes like she really meant it. I don’t know. Love is weird.” Several princes followed her and took religious orders themselves. The Well of St. Simone remains a popular destination among pilgrims to this day.

In the garden, the continued presence of the surveyors is galling. I hope that their presence is not an omen for the year to come. Nevertheless, the garden has worked very hard for us this year and deserves recognition. The beans have been spectacular and the pond irises came back beautifully after their run-in with the standing stone.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

And we here at the Hidden Almanac would like to wish all our listeners a good, solid, workmanlike year to come. We are all too often besieged by wishes for the best year ever, and I feel this creates an unrealistic set of expectations. May your year be good, may you accomplish much, and may your trials be few and light. May it be the equivalent of a really solid lunch that prepares you for the work ahead, and may you get a particularly fine slice of dill pickle with that lunch.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for December 31st, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon. Our exit music is Red in Black and our into music is Moon Valley, both by Kosta T. You can hear more music from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. The Hidden Almanac is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

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