The Hidden Almanac for
Friday January 9th, 2015
Episode 208
Previous episode: 2015-01-07
Next episode: 2015-01-12


Today we remember the appearance of a megaloceros. It is also the birthday of the artist Victor Corelli. It is the Feast Day of St. Unwin, and in the garden, there is letterhead.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is January 9th, 2015.

It was on this day in 1906 that the megaloceros, an extinct giant deer, walked through the center of the city. It was clearly a ghost, being both transparent and levitating several feet above the surface of the Autumn River, but this did not stop excitable people from claiming a resurgence of extinct megafauna were about to overrun the city. The newspapers were briefly full of articles from people claiming to have shot short-faced bears in their back garden, before returning to the normal business of complaining about the younger generation and how they needed to get jobs.

It is the birthday, in 1926, of Victor Corelli, famed oil painter. Scarred by the early wars of the century, he vowed to paint only bright, cheerful images. Even when briefly trapped above the arctic circle and surrounded by months of near-total darkness, his canvases were a blaze of color and light. His fellow villagers were painted as swimmers and sunbathers, while the snow-covered buildings around him were portrayed as sunny beach cottages. “It is said of some that they take denial to an art form,” said one critic, “but no one has more truly done so than Corelli.” Upon his death in 1998, his posthumous retrospective at the Royal Gallery attracted more than a million visitors.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Unwin, patron of matchmakers. It is said that St. Unwin brought together the parents of the Lobster Pope, the Shepherd Pope, and also Saint Aaron the Ascetic. Little else is known of St. Unwin, and the details of how she achieved these unions is unclear. For reasons completely baffling to hagiographers, she is always portrayed carrying an onion and wearing a truly extraordinary hat.

In the garden, the surveyors have returned with some very official looking letters stating their right to survey the land under the Hidden Almanac Test Garden for ley line activity. The letterhead is quite extraordinary, but I am unimpressed by mere letterhead. I have copied the letters and will take them to the legal minds of the Ravencoast School of Divinity for analysis. It is also very cold. We have gotten George a space heater.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Edible Insect Emporium! Swing by our shop on the High Street and try a Hot Chocopillar! Guaranteed to warm you up on a cold day!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 9th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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