The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday January 21st, 2015
Episode 213
Previous episode: 2015-01-19
Next episode: 2015-01-23


Today is the day the Slap Happy Sticker Company released a new product. It is the Feast Day of the Adoration of the Earthworm, and in the garden, it is warm. And it will be cold. Again.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is January 21st, 2015.

It was on this day in 1973 that the Slap Happy Sticker Company produced the first mass-marketed scratch-and-sniff stickers. They were released at first in only three scents—strawberry, banana, and lemon — but their extraordinary popularity led to the release of hundreds of other scents, and eventually a terrible sticker-based financial bubble, as sticker brokers traded among themselves. At the height, a sticker in the rare and coveted “Crème Brulee” scent could fetch thousands on the open market. The greatest fees, however, were reserved for the unpleasantly scented “Stinker” Stickers, released in a limited edition. When a Scratch-and-Sniff “Skunk Cabbage” sticker sold at auction for a quarter of a million dollars, society finally took notice. The prime minister stepped in to stop what was described as “a baffling madness.” Sticker sales were frozen. Fortunes were lost. The Slap Happy Company went quietly out of business. “It’s a relief, really,” said the founder. “They would try the doors at night, trying to get access to the stickers before anyone else…I’m so glad the nightmare is over.”

It is the Feast Day of the Adoration of the Earthworm. This is celebrated primarily by the mole-people, but has achieved some small notoriety among gardeners in recent years. Small worm-shrines are now popular as garden ornamentation. Spokepersons for the mole-people say that they are pleased that the Earthworm is receiving more respect among human gardeners, even if it is only mass-produced cast concrete. “Worship does not sustain the world,” said one authority, who declined to give her name. “The world is sustained by creatures living together within it. I would rather that every garden have a shrine and every gardener thought of the worm a dozen times a year, than to have one person devote all their waking hours to it.”

In the garden, we do in fact have a worm-shrine in the far corner, overlooking the compost heap. We have also had a recent warm snap, which means that everything is budding and will shortly be killed by frost. Again. One hardly knows whether it is worth noting these things any more.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Rent-A-Yeti! It’s not spring yet, but our garden yetis are still available, at deep discounts! If you lost any trees in the recent ice storms, a garden yeti may be just what you need! Call now!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 21st, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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