The Hidden Almanac for
Monday January 26th, 2015
Episode 215
Previous episode: 2015-01-23
Next episode: 2015-01-28


Today is the birthday of the oldest zebra in the Royal Zoo. It is also the day the clocks stopped at 3:33. It is the Feast Day of St. Benjamin, and in the garden, there is not a hearing.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is January 26th, 2015.

It is the birthday of Zipper, the oldest zebra at the Royal Zoo. Zipper was donated by the Baron Rothchild, who devoted his life and not inconsiderable fortune to domesticating zebrakind. For the most part, he failed, but he successfully trained zebras to pull a carriage. Zebras are largely un-rideable, aggressive, and prone to striking out violently when disturbed. However, they always walk in order of rank, with the dominant female leading. Rothchild had some success by putting the zebras in harness by order of dominance, and thus the sight of him tooling around his estate in a zebra-draw carriage was not uncommon. While a number of nobles tried to buy the animals, an aging Rothchild donated his team to the Royal Zoo, unwilling to send them to live with anyone who did not understand zebra psychology.

And it was on this day, in the Year of Fireflies, that all the clocks in Echo Harbor set themselves to 3:33. If the time was changed, they would reset themselves within the hour. This persisted for twelve days. No one knows what happened at 3:33 on the twelfth day, and many fear to speculate.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Benjamin, patron of tomcats. Legend holds that this saint was a mouser at the papal palace for fourteen years. One day, when the Pope was addressing a crowd, the cat walked across the balcony in front of him, interrupting the sermon and demanding to be petted. The guards hurried to remove him, but the Pope said that the Lord had placed the lowest of cats above the highest of clerics, to remind us of humility, and petted the cat for several minutes until he grew bored and left. The cat’s body was later found to be incorruptible, although some argued that he was merely an extremely sound sleeper. Benjamin was duly canonized and is represented as a haloed cat or as a man with a cat’s head, holding a small pope in his arms.

In the garden, there is apparently a public hearing about the CharmX company’s ley-line tapping operation. That is, the hearing is not in the garden, it is merely relevant to the garden. I would not have a public hearing in my garden, unless one of the interns was going to be sentenced to the stocks. Again.

I shall attend in order to gather more information. Pastor Drom says that she will be there, but that is probably not a good enough reason to avoid it.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Eddy’s Incubators. Isolationist Penguins need a warm start in life, even if their hearts are as cold as the grave. From egg to grim bird that stinks of fish and sorrow, the only brand you want is Eddy’s!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 26th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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