The Hidden Almanac for
Friday January 30th, 2015
Episode 217
Previous episode: 2015-01-28
Next episode: 2015-02-02


Today is the day we have an unexpected guest in the studio. An enthusiastic guest. Because of the garden.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is January 30th, 2015.

It was on this day in 1930 that the painting “Sorrowful Chicken” was stolen from the Royal Museum in—oh lord.

PD: Hi everybody! I’m Pastor Drom!

RM: What are YOU doing here?

PD: I’ve come to help you, Mord!

RM: Really.

PD: You were at the public hearing about the ley-line tapping, Mord.

RM: I was…

PD: You saw what happened. The system is broken! Our politicians are corrupt! It’s time to return the power to the people!

RM: Drom, I will thank you not to incite bloody revolution on my show.

PD: We’re trying to save your garden here, Mord. I brought protestors!

RM: …Protestors.

PD: Bunches of ‘em!

RM: There are protestors in MY garden.

PD: We shall keep the machinery of the oppressor from rolling over the Hidden Almanac test garden! The garden shall be a battleground for freedom!

RM: That sounds like they will touch things. I don’t want anyone to touch things. There are spring bulbs coming up that are very delicate…

PD: We shall chain ourselves to trees!

RM: (pained noise) Please don’t.

PD: We shall sing protest songs! We will not be silenced!

RM: …Protest songs.

PD: Yep.

RM: Which ones, exactly?

PD: Oh, you know. We Shall Overcome. If I Had A Hammer. Tear The Filthy Scabs a New One. The classics.

RM: Indeed. And how will singing stop an energy company from tapping the ley lines under the garden?

PD: I think it annoys the hell out of them and eventually they give up and leave. That seems to be the premise.

RM: But if this works, won’t there still be protestors in the garden? How do I get rid of them?

PD: You have to give them cookies and thank them for coming out. If they don’t leave, then snakes.

RM: (sigh)

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Scarlet Wombat Publishing’s latest horrifyingly sexual self-help book by Pastor Drom, (PD: Woo) “How To Seduce The Universe.” Why is this happening to me?

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 30th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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