The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday February 4th, 2015
Episode 219
Previous episode: 2015-02-02
Next episode: 2015-02-06


Today marks the day wrought iron elk skeletons appeared. It is also the publication day of the book “Patriotic Crochet Patterns.” It is the Feast Day of Cracked Earth, and in the garden, there is still singing.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 4th, 2015.

It was on this day in 2003 that wrought iron elk skeletons appeared mysteriously throughout the city. They appeared in parks, on sidewalks, and a few turned up in very unusual places, including the rooftop of the City Library and upside-down underneath the Kingfisher Bridge. Originally there were thought to be eighteen, but months later, one was discovered inside the sewer system and another was found in a back bedroom of a condemned apartment building. The elk stood approximately nine feet tall, with antlers, and weighed several hundred pounds apiece.

Originally believed to be a guerrilla art project, no one ever claimed responsibility. A few of the elk were removed, as they presented a threat to traffic, but most of the rest were left intact. A worker later discovered that each of the elk had a date written in small numbers inside their left foreleg, in the ancient language of Mu, but all the dates were different. Three had already passed and the remainder were in the future. It was all very puzzling.

And it was on this day in 1918 that the book “Patriotic Crochet Patterns” was released, containing twenty-seven patterns for patriotic crochet. The patterns ranged from flag-themed planters to gun-cozies. It sold better than any craft book before it, moving over thirty-thousand copies in the first week, and remained a perennial seller for years, to the confusion of many public arbiters of good taste.

It is the Feast Day of Cracked Earth. This is celebrated in the extreme south, where this is the end of the dry season. When the dirt cracks, it is said that the lips of the earth have opened to beg for water, and soon the rains will come. We do not have any version of this here, where it is wet all the time, but as climate change comes upon us, who knows what rituals we will find useful?

In the garden, the protesters are still singing. They appear inexhaustible. The CharmX people have come out to talk about eminent domain and the protesters sang and Pastor Drom gave them all copies of her latest book. They went away very confused. They are not the only ones. The interns are hiding in the garden shed passing a flask back and forth. I envy them.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Harriet’s Ferrets. Is a ferret right for you? Come out to our Ferret Rescue Event at the Petulant Pet Shop and meet our rescue ferrets! A ferret is a gift that gives…and gives…and gives…

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 4th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.