The Hidden Almanac for
Monday February 9th, 2015
Episode 221
Previous episode: 2015-02-06
Next episode: 2015-02-11


Today the Southern Express made its first journey. It is also the birthday of the third Baron Palmer, and the day the FunZilla Toy Company was founded. It is the Feast Day of St. Melinda, and in the garden, there is damage.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 9th, 2015.

It was on this day in 1883 that the Southern Express left the station for the first time. This luxury passenger train served the enormous distances from the city, through the Glass Wastes, to the southern countries. It was designed with comfort in mind, and trips on the Southern Express became status symbols. Often passengers would arrive in the south and immediately reboard the train to return to the north. “It is about the journey, not the destination,” said one socialite. “Particularly if the journey involves caviar.”

And it was on this day in 1998 that the toy company FunZilla was founded. FunZilla makes pop-culture related toys, many of which are licensed from movies, video games, and TV shows. For a lengthy period, having a vinyl figure made by FunZilla was a sign that one had truly arrived in the pop culture gestalt. I do not have one. Yet.

It is the birthday in 1954 of the third Baron Palmer, noted patron of the arts. He was a frequent fixture at operas and gallery openings, until he was eaten by a goat at a particular avante garde performance. His will established the Palmer Theater Company which continues to this day.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Melinda, who cast out ninety-seven devils from a cask of wine. She has been adopted by multiple modern temperance movements as a patron. At the same time, “Ninety-Seven Devils” is a popular vintage of wine that bears her likeness. The historical St. Melinda lived in the Mountain Kingdom and may have been an abbess, though few facts are known.

In the garden, the protesters have mangled three hellebores, one trout lily, sixteen grape hyacinths and a tea camellia. This would be unsettling enough, but the CharmX employees backed a van over a red buckeye shrub and set it back at least three seasons. I can scarcely bear to look out the window any longer, but someone must prune back the traumatized stems. Pastor Drom says that everything is going beautifully and we must all keep our chins up. She says things like that frequently, and yet somehow retains tenure.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Troyzantium Garlic Scouts. We’re earning our applied chronomancy badges! If time should hiccup briefly, do not be alarmed! Why not purchase some delicious Garlic Scout cookies to nibble on while history repeats itself around you?

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 9th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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