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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday February 11th, 2015
Episode 222
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2015-02-09
Next episode: 2015-02-13

SummaryEdit

Today we remember the arrival of the Sphinx. It is also the birthday of Constabulus. It is the Feast Day of St. Amaranthia, and in the garden, the irises are gone.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 11nd, 2015.

It was on this day in the Year of Mud-Turtles that a sphinx statue appeared in the center of Echo Harbor. It was about twenty feet long and crushed several food trucks and a parking meter when it appeared. It was technically a Criosphinx, in that it had the head of a ram rather than a human, but it was popular referred to as “that damn sphinx statue that is mucking up traffic downtown.” Several prominent citizens chiseled their initials into the beast’s hindquarters. It vanished eleven days later, taking with it the remains of a gyro truck and approximately thirty orange traffic cones.

And it is the birthday, in 820[1], of Constabulus, a physician and translator who traveled extensively between the Mountain Kingdom and what would become modern-day Troyzantium. He brought texts between the two regions, and translated them into the languages used on either end. Many early texts are believed to have survived because of Constabulus’s translations. He worked primarily with medical texts, but also translated several works of philosophy and several dozen light comic plays, which were apparently a special fondness of his.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Amaranthia, the Hedge Against Despair. She is portrayed as a small bird carrying a rosary in her beak. Legend has it that she came to Saint Elwood in the time of his imprisonment, visiting him daily for seven years, and it was through her visits that he found the strength to continue on. She is invoked in circumstances where despair threatens to overwhelm the supplicant.

This is a particularly appropriate saint today, given that it rained last night and the protesters all came inside to get hot chocolate. They sang at me. I do not have anything more to say about that. Unfortunately, while they were singing, the CharmX van took the opening to come down the driveway and onto the edge of the property, where it promptly got stuck in mud. That mud contained a number of irises. The employees are all very apologetic but are invoking eminent domain, and the protesters are singing very loudly and it is all quite dreadful. St. Amaranthia, take pity upon me, a poor gardener.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Flair Nation, selling the finest in surplus skater gear! We’ve got stuff here left from the early nineties, and we’re offering it all to you because we really want that warehouse back! Proclaim your willingness to Olly with a t-shirt today. We have lots.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 11nd, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

  1. While the script read 820, the year 1820 was spoken on air. However, Troyzantium was already a prominent city-state by the 19th century.

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